Once eternal, always eternal. Once a spark, always a spark. Live, jump, dance.
Life in a beautiful place, gold is breath, silver is life, and purple is the air around us.
We dance, we sing, we praise.
Not caged in a shell of flesh.
"Must we?" said one Spark to another. "Must we go down to die and grow sick? To forsake our Maker?"
"It is His will that we have our will. But take heart. We shall see Him again!"
"If we are fools, we shall not. What if we become like those others? The Sparks that leave and forget all they have seen and known? Now we can dance like the angels, but if we forget, then never again!"
"We shan't forget. We shan't, we shan't."
Dance, dance, dance like the angels. Feel and breathe the gold of the air, touch the purple, sing with silver.
One by one, like stars falling from heaven, we leave.
One by one we are encased in flesh.
One by one our memories are buried.
Sparks are souls. We are humans.
And humans forget.
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140,253 Literary Works • 673,074 Reviews
Oh! What a magnificent poem!!!
Your opening was very strong!
"Once eternal, always eternal. Once a spark, always a spark. Live, jump, dance."
I loved the constant repetition of words and you continued this trend throughout your poem with words like "dance" and "sparks." I felt like the repetition were relentless reminders, sort of snatching our attention and demanding we hear and listen. I also loved this line:
"It is His will that we have our will. But take heart. We shall see Him again!"
It shows the freedom of choice that God gives to all of us, which many mistake for self power and arrogance. I loved that although you expressed His gift of free will, you also turn it into a gentle warning, reminding us that its not forever so wasting it is a terrible risk to take.
My favorite line of all times though appear in the ending:
"Sparks are souls. We are humans.
And humans forget."
I swear just reading that made me fall dead. PERFECT!!!! Goodness, the last line is like a bullet in the dark. I cant begin to describe how intriguing it is that you gave a sense of hope and warning in the beginning, then completely did a 360 and left the reader with a dark reminder.
There is nothing that I could suggest that would make your poem any better than it already is. Incredible writing skills you have here.
Write on!!
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
All for His glory!!
I feel as if this poem entertained a part of me that nothing else can reach out to. I got emotional as if I were standing near the situation, and it hurt. But it was also an amazing feeling. I have no idea of why this simple (not bad simple, good simple.) poem effects me in the way it does.
Was this religious? It feels religious... But it also doesn't. I'm going to go with "religious". Something about that makes it a little more... fantastic.
I thank you for showing me a part of myself that I didn't know was there before this. You are a gifted person.
Good Luck To You!
Thank you!! It touches me that this poem touched you. Yes, it is religious, from a Christian perspective.
Your poem it was really heart clenching, it's filled with a type of bliss and sorrow weaved together to make something I don't think I've never even felt. Your imagery was just astounding, and I love how you describe life is beautiful, breath is gold, and air is purple, I never thought of it that way, and I never seen life as beautiful, I saw it as a chess match, one wrong move the game is over. Life seems to be a deadly game, but you somewhat showed your point of view (if that makes since), which I love. I love to see through the eyes of people, to pick at their though and emotions, and see what think or feel about something. It's beautiful. My favorite part was
One by one, like stars falling from heaven, we leave.
One by one we are encased in flesh.
One by one our memories are buried.
Sparks are souls. We are humans.
And humans forget.
This ending... humans forget somewhat gave me a sharp feeling, like something had jabbed me in the chest, which I loved (weird I know), but feeling something so painful, caused by a poem... fascinates me. Keep writing and thank you for sharing your poem!
I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much! Everything I write... all praise goes to Jesus.
In this poem, my inspiration was heaven... what if before we are born, our souls are in heaven? And then, while here on earth, we can make the decision to accept Christ and return, or deny Him... forget everything that we knew... and never see Him again. It was a thought that I turned into a poem.
very thought provoking. It isn't something people really talk about, adding to the interest of it. It was well written and sort of happy while still being sad. It was a very unique piece of writting, like I have never heard or read anything like it. I would love to read some of your other stuff.
Thank you! I am so glad you liked it. All credit goes to Jesus -- He is my source of inspiration.
I will be posting more soon!