The heart's voice (Chapter 3) part 2

“Glad you’re coming around. I was beginning to think that the transportation system wasn’t meant for humans,” Glore said, smiling as happily as ever. She had a tray with a variety of different food displayed on it. Flo’s mouth was already beginning to water. Her stomach churned and she knew that she was as hungry as a bear. “But now that I think about it, the humans in other quarters do use the transporters. Anyway, I bet you’re really hungry. I can hear your heart speak. It says it wants to eat. So let’s eat.”

 

Flo stared at her profoundly. “You’re going to eat human food?”

 

“Of course. It’s what I always eat. It’s what keeps me going; my source of energy. Humans need this food to survive, you know.”

 

“But, are you trying to tell me that you’re… human?” Flo’s eyes were now as anxious as ever to know the truth behind this mystery.

 

“Aha.” Glore nodded and said, “I’m as much human as you are; maybe even a little more. But nobody knows this about me besides Sky and Terra so you’re going to have to keep this a secret for me, okay? Now dig in.”

 

Flo nodded and started with the spaghetti and meatballs, feeling all its spices making their effects on her tongue. “Water!” Glore handed her a glass of water which she drank gratefully. Glore looked at her apologetically.

 

“Sorry about that. I always like my food spicy. I should’ve thought about you first. Here, try the soup. It’s not that spicy.” It was true. When Flo tasted the soup, it was so delicious that she ate it all in less than five minutes. “Oh, I forgot. You were telling about yourself. If you’re human then how come you’re able to use the skills that demons use? And exactly how old are you because when I first saw you, I didn’t feel like you belonged with those guys. You look so much younger than them.”

 

Glore gulped down her food and took in a deep breath. It was quiet and peaceful inside the cabin. Even outside, there wasn’t a single noise. “I’m thirteen. When I was only nine, I was captured and brought here where the demons live, along with some other humans. I’d never worked a day in my life. I lived at an orphanage on Earth. Nobody adopted me because I was too short for my age. So the demons came and took me away. I was the youngest of them all and so small that no one really noticed me here. They wanted to make us work all day, doing the demon chores and cleaning and dusting and all. I never wanted to do that. So I planned my escape at night. I was small enough to slip into a tiny hole that led me to the level 2 tunnels underground.

 

You know where that is? This is ground floor. The tunnels underground are called level 1 and the ones even lower are the level 2. There was only the sidewalk where I could step on. The rest of the area was flooded with red liquid that had no smell at all. I walked and walked till my feet hurt but found no exit. I’d passed several other tiny holes along the way but was afraid to go through them. Who knows where they would lead me. So I travelled back again, retracing my steps when I slipped and fell into the liquid.”

 

Flo’s mouth fell open in shock. She’d only fallen into the red liquid in her dreams while Glore here had experienced the real thing and was still alive, even though she was a delicate human being.

 

“Don’t be frightened, it didn’t hurt at all. And I could breathe in it too otherwise I would’ve surely drowned. My throat was so dry and I hadn’t eaten or drunk anything since the day before so I forced myself to drink the red liquid.” Flo winced. She couldn’t even stand to look at the liquid, let alone drink it. “It didn’t taste like blood at all,” Glore said quickly, noticing Flo’s expression, “Instead, it was sweat. Like juice. Oh it was the best juice I’d ever tasted and I was overwhelmed by the power and energy it brought me. I was able to get myself out of the liquid after that and I fell asleep on the sidewalk.”

 

“What happened then? How did you get out?” Flo asked with full attention, seeming intrigued by Glore’s story, “Oh I don’t know but I think someone found me lying there and brought me to the hospital. For some reason, after the blood test was done, the doctors said that I was a demon. A very rare kind; one they’ve never treated before. So I just played along and here I am. Counted as one of the demons and respected for my powers. I was promoted to Sky and Terra’s class later on. They said I was too good to be a junior.” Flo chuckled under her breath but her stomach started to ache. She had eaten a lot more than her tummy could handle but it was a good experience; the newest one yet.

 

She laid her head back down on the pillow that eased her mind in seconds. For some reason, after waking up from her dream, she felt refreshed and full of energy. None of her wounds were aching…

 

“Glore…”

 

“Yes?” Glore replied with a mouthful of spaghetti.

 

“Did you heal me or did someone come in here and heal my wounds?”

 

“No one healed you. I made the transporter get us right inside my cabin and then I asked Sky and Terra to leave because I knew you wouldn’t talk or feel comfortable in the company of demons. No one else came after that. Come to think of it…” Glore looked Flo from head to toe, “You don’t have any wounds.”

 

Flo’s heart pounded again. She bolted upright, panting. Glore left her food and went to sit beside Flo, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Tell me. What’s wrong? I’ve told you my story, about my powers and all so now you’ve got to trust me. Please, I can’t watch you suffer.” Flo glanced at her. “I can’t handle so much pain, Flo. Your heart is in need of help. It’s hurting…” Glore had tears in her eyes now and Flo wiped them away with shaky fingers. Glore took her hands in hers and looked straight into her eyes. “Please. I want to help you. We’re both humans. It’s our job to look after each other.”

 

“I-It happened yesterday…” Flo told her about the talking heart and how she’d sneaked inside the lab which only caused her more trouble. She told Glore everything she could recall from the day before and the present day, including her dreams.

 

“I followed your orders today when you signaled me to go into the hole. There I heard Melda talk about asking the demon for a way to destroy the dragon once and for all. They all say that the dragon used to be wicked and evil but I know that those are all lies.”

 

“Do you say that because you’ve talked with the dragon’s heart?” Flo nodded, “Then you must be right because a heart never lies. A heart will always appear to you in its true form. You said that the heart didn’t sound evil then this means there’s a misunderstanding going on here.”

 

“And I think your friend Terra was right about there being something odd.” Flo told Glore about falling through a small hole when she was about to get to the other end of the tunnel. “And that’s when the demon attacked me. He said he wanted to devour my soul. There was so much confusion and then I think I’d entered another one of my dreams where I saw the demon’s face just as the lighting flashed. It’s him. The demon that is sealed inside the research lab… but there was something wrong about him.”

 

“That he’s evil?” Glore pointed out the obvious.

 

“No. Something else… wait, you believe me?”

 

“I know you’re telling the truth,” she said with a smile, “And I’ve been through that same tunnel a lot of time but I’ve never come across a hole just before the opening.”

 

“But it was there. How can a hole just appear like that? Do you think the demon did this just to lour me into his trap?”

 

“Exactly,” Glore let go of Flo’s hands and came to sit in front of her on the bed. “Listen, there’s a skill for illusions which is pretty rare because creating illusions takes a lot of effort so only the strongest of all demons are capable of such an ability… but there’s a story that a very long time ago, when the dragon still lived in his true form, there was a demon boy. He could be the same age as Sky. That boy was very special. He could not only cast illusions but at times when he’s at his full potential, he could make them real, for a short while only.”

 

“An illusion that turns real for a short while only… So the hole was only there so that I could fall into the fifth stream. And the stream was supposed to be filled with water but it turned red right before my eyes. I knew it wasn’t real because when the water went into my mouth, it tasted like normal stream water.”

 

“And this illusion was also temporary because by the time I found you, the stream was no longer red.”

 

“So it’s true then, the sealed demon is the crook, not the dragon. We’ve solved the mystery, Glore!” Flo jumped up on the bed in excitement and headed towards the door but stopped when she saw that Glore wasn’t following.

 

“What’s wrong,” she asked, turning around, “Don’t you want to prove it to the demons that the dragon is innocent?”

 

Glore looked down, biting her lips. “Flo, there’s something you should know… since you’re a friend of the dragon’s.”

 

Flo felt a twinge in her stomach when she looked into Glore’s apologetic eyes. “What is it…” she murmured. Fear started rolling inside her mind.

 

“When we were about to exit through the transporter, I heard some people talking through the walls of the room nearest to us. They were saying something about the heart and the demon being attacked by something. They were blaming the scientists in the research lab but he couldn’t have gotten to the heart. They said that it was bleeding; so was the demon. And not just me, Terra and Sky heard it as well…” Glore looked up to see that Flo was already dashing out the door. “Flo, wait!”

Comments & reviews · 3
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omg who is this stranger coming to review your piece of literature, lol. Oh yeah, it's me. Back from the dead. Sorry it's been so long x)

I'll get right to it!

“It didn’t taste like blood at all,” Glore said quickly, noticing Flo’s expression, “Instead, it was sweat. Like juice. Oh it was the best juice I’d ever tasted and I was overwhelmed by the power and energy it brought me. I was able to get myself out of the liquid after that and I fell asleep on the sidewalk.”

haha, I doubt it tasted like sweat, I think you mean sweet xP

Great cliffhanger!!

I really like the friendship forming between these two girls, and you did a good job explaining Glore's strange situation. I actually really like the idea of there being a red pool of water somewhere in the dragon's body that can give you magical abilities.

This is a great chapter, in my opinion, so the review is not going to be that long. But if I had to point out something for you to improve on, it would be your dialogue/non-dialogue transitions. They aren't bad, by any means, but they can be smoother. And I still think there are errors in punctuation (like, 'should this be a period or a comma? should I capitalize this word after Flo says this sentence? What is the best way to transition between Flo's speech and Glore's?') I might be wrong, but it doesn't seem like you are always consistent or certain of which way is the right way to do it. And if you don't know something, look it up :D Just reviewing some basic tutorials online or opening up a novel and studying how it's done can be very helpful.

User avatar
Noelle
Review
Noelle wrote a review · Thu Aug 30, 2012 5:27 pm

Hi there!

I really like this chapter. I learn a lot from it. It's also a relief to me that Flo has made a friend and that friend believes her. I think Glore is good for Flo. Especially since she knows a lot about where they are and the tunnel and all that stuff. And goodness, poor Flo! I hope the dragon heart is okay! It (he?) was her first friend.

I agree with mystogan about your descriptions. I don't know what the demons look like. I picture them as being humans. I had actually forgotten that they're demons, although that's most likely because I'm horribly at creating images in my head from a character description. Honestly. It's kind of annoying because all of my friends will read a book and discuss what they think the characters look like and I have nothing to say because I can't describe what I see. *sigh* Okay, enough about me.

I like your writing style. It's simple and straight forward and I understand everything that you're saying. I like the ending of this as well. I like how it seems like they've figured out the mystery when Glore completely changes the subject and tells Flo about the heart. And I can't wait to read what happens next!

Keep writing!
**Noelle**

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mystogan
Review

aha, I knew it. But then again i am still confused. So is the demon boy evil or is he not. Or is the dragon evil or is he not. Cuase i actually don't trust Glore anymore. Damn it. Who to trust.Also is it possible the real culprit is still acting around. Maybe it MELDA. yes the really nice ones always turn out to be evil becuase of child hood issues. I am right aren't I?

Anyhow i still think you need to describe the demons more. I still don't know how they look. See there was no way that I could tell if Glore was human or demon. Am i to understand that humans and demons only differ in blood type then. Do they have human skin and stuff. Or do they have little horns and tails, etc. How do they look? Its important to know especially now. Right now as it is i can't tell the difference between Glore and her friends yet they are demons and she is not. That is porblematic.

I think the ending is great. I was just thinking how it got too relaxed and how the action from before was seeping away when you bought it all back. Personally the whole conversation was heart wearming and all but it was taking out the danger and panic from before. there was this huge thrill from knowing that some evil force could reach out and attack Flo at anytime. But with Glore its too easy to be safe. Then you went and made her run. Thats set things back in motion.

I can't wait to find out who is behind this mystery. I can't believe how quickly you have prgressed this story. Only two chapters ago it was all some escape plan now its a mystery to find an evil culprit.

I am also curious of the relationship between Melda and the boy. Apparently she was going to ask him something but from the scene in the lab i thought he was a prisoner. But then i am making a guess that if he is evil he is secretly lying about the dragon. And claiming to guard it from awakening when actually he is getting free souls fed to him.



Never use your shield as a dinner plate, for that is when the enemy is most likely to attack.
— The KotGR Commander