I look out and see the ground.
It’s twenty-nine storeys below me.
But I just stare in fascination, the wind tussling my hair,
Hitting my cheeks hot and humid.
There is just a window between me and the world,
But I peek out through this quadrilateral portal
Into a view of cars and boats and motorcycles,
Bustling in the streets of hustle and struggle.
---
A decade has passed and more since then,
And I think of myself still the same.
But when I peer across the fourteenth-storey window,
My hair rises enveloped in fear.
Scared of the distance between me and the ground,
And the consequences that stored velocity could bring.
---
Whats changed since I was young,
That would make me so much more fearful of the world?
---
Maybe it’s the hurts and pains I received,
From people I knew and trusted.
Maybe it’s the trials and fails I’ve experienced,
That stopped me from trying things unprepared.
Or maybe it’s just me,
Whose light in their eyes stopped sparkling,
Once they saw the world in a different light,
Scared of everything and anything,
Choosing the safe instead of the adventurous,
Thinking less about the positives than the nefarious,
Fearing the unknown rather than being curious.
---
I look back and see a foolish child,
Ignorant to the world around them.
But inside of that ignorance,
Existed something I had long lost,
A bravery I’ve long let go of.
And maybe the kid reflected in my past,
Was in some ways much stronger than I’ll ever be.
---
I stare back through the window in fear.
But this time not of the distance between me and the ground,
But the furthering distance between me and my past.
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141,064 Literary Works • 673,958 Reviews
Hello,
I really loved the poem a lot. You beautifully conveyed the fear of the world from personal experiences really well, as for me, I am also afraid of the world sometimes.
These words stood out the most to me
This is because I can deeply relate to this. After all, i had a friendship breakup recently and my ex-best friend was someone I loved and trusted, and she left me to carry the heavy load all by myself. So yeah, even though I may not be an adult , I can still relate to your experiences.
Great poem
Have a good day and hope that this was helpful
😊😊😊❤️❤️❤️
i just wanted to say that you did such a good job with conveying fear as you grow up, especially learnt fear from personal experiences and outside experiences. the poem was very rhyme-y, it made me go ‘mmm’ every time it ended in a rhyme. this poem is a very relatable experience overall.
the quotes that got me the most were
and
the older i grow, the more terrified and sick i get from thinking about getting older. each birthday passes, each time i get a little bigger. it’s a sickening feeling, and i often look back at my past and wish i had stayed that age forever. unfortunately, time does not move that way, we must move forward.
the last quote is self explanatory; the people who have hurt you shaped you, and you may have not seen the cruelty or damage they have done until you got older and revised. that part was so good. it made me sad because it instantly transported me to places i wish i had never gone, but unfortunately had experienced. it also reminded me that i have moved on and i have survived.
Hey! I really liked this poem! I liked how you contrasted the child’s wonder, viewing the world from the window with a heart full of joy and the adult’s fear of the unknown, trying to look out the same window with a heart full of doom. I liked how well you depicted the transition with the help of the window as the border between two worlds. The transition from the fear of the distance to the ground to the fear of the distance from the past was made very well, in my opinion, giving the poem its emotional depth.
I also liked how you explained what might have caused the transition. The mention of various pains, failures, and broken trust from people close and dear to him made it seem less like a fear of heights or the world itself but more like a justified paranoia stemming from multiple disappointments. The remark about the child being “in some ways much stronger” than the narrator also added a layer of emotional depth to the poem, making it bittersweet.
The only things I didn’t particularly like were some of the words you used, such as “stored velocity”, which felt a bit too technical for a poem, and “nefarious” which, in my opinion, was used almost as an excuse to rhyme it with “positives”. Some of the lines I felt could be smoother as well. Excuse me if I’m wrong, but did you perhaps mean “peek” instead of “peak”?
Nevertheless, you conveyed the idea and the emotion behind the poem beautifully! The ending was especially great and very emotional, making me reflect on my own childhood and transition to adulthood. Well done! <3
thank you for your review! It looks like you're relatively new here, so welcome :)
(also... istg i thought i doublechecked that i wrote "peek" instead of "peak" ToT i'm actually gaslighting myself sadghjk)