Whenever

by Theodorable

Published November 17, 2008

In poetry

I see you walkin' on by
I know I can't stop this feelin'
Something inside me comes alive
I know I can't hide
I'm fallin' over and over again

Whenever you're near me I can't breathe
Whenever you speak to me I believe
That you are more than I ever dreamed of
And you must be sent from God up above

Now when the day is done I'm all alone
I pray that you can hear me
I don't know why
but I can't stop fallin' over and over again

Whenever you're near me I can't breathe
Whenever you speak to me I believe
That you are more than I ever dreamed of
And you must be sent from God up above

What is this feeling
I can't feel the ground
I'm finding myself wrapped in your arms

Whenever you're near me I can't breathe
Whenever you speak to me I believe
That you are more than I ever dreamed of
And you must be sent from God up above

Whenever... I believe
That you are more than I ever dreamed of
And you must be sent from God up above

Comments & reviews · 5
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Theodorable
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Theodorable commented Comment · Nov 18, 2008

Thanks! I wrote this when I was falling for a guy that I had no chance with whatsoever. So I'm glad you all like it. And I was writing it for the purpose of a song, but I have no clue what rhythm to put it to. And I'll work on punctuation when I get a chance. Once again thank you very much!

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Lynne
Review
Lynne wrote a review Review · Nov 18, 2008

I enjoyed reading this, when i saw it on the front page and read it, i thought that it was a song. Couldn't figure out a steady tempo for it, though. It would be a pretty song.

:backtotopic: I couldn't find many grammatical errors. You could do with a little more punctuation if it's staying a poem; i couldn't say for lyrics, I'm not quite sure on the rules for that. But like i said, i think alot of people can relate to this and I actively enjoyed reading it. :]

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Linx
Review
Linx wrote a review Review · Nov 18, 2008

I liked this. It was pretty, and I can relate to it.
:D
It would be nice if it was a song too. For the poem part though, a little more punctuation wouldn't hurt.
Singing it as a song would be pretty. It would have to be slow to truly grasp what you are saying.

What is this feeling
I can't feel the ground
I'm finding myself wrapped in your arms


I love that line! Good job! :D

SeleneForeverDream wrote a review Review · Nov 17, 2008

This would actually be a good song. It has the right format and if you sang it, probably soprano, I bet it would sound really good. Girls can really relate to this when they have a crush, so good job! I love the falling over line and everything else. :D

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Theodorable
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Theodorable commented Comment · Nov 17, 2008

Hey, okay well I wrote this about a year ago and I really don't know what rhythm and beat it can go to. So if you have any suggestions on how to make it better please post it. Thanks!



I tell the neophyte: Write a million words–the absolute best you can write, then throw it all away and bravely turn your back on what you have written. At that point, you’re ready to begin.
— David Eddings