Do You Mind?
Please do not turn me away,
Because I am only being honest with you.
Do you mind if I stay?
I am only telling you what is true.
One minute you are not listening, the next you are pleading.
Always sobbing about your fears,
Then I see that you are bleeding,
And you only hope I will dry you tears.
There is enough pain and sorrow,
That all people suffer at times.
They are always wishing for tomorrow,
Never worrying about their crimes.
So, do you mind if I stay?
Because you know these are only some games people play.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,495 Literary Works • 672,584 Reviews
Thnks!
I really don't know how I got my feelings down on paper. Thnks for the criticism is really helps! I hope to also post a story that I am writing, but it may take a couple of days. 
Everything may be going black, but I'm still glowing!
Jesus. This applies to me in a way I didn't think possible. I think that I'm the person that the poem is referring to. Very emotional, very well executed and very well done indeed. I congratulate you, madam. Nice job!
Great poem courtney! That was great. It has a nice flow and evokes emotion. Truely beautiful poem. Wish I was that talented. AlthoughI agree,I think you should use something more graceful than yakking. Pm me when you post something new. *hits keyboard* Stupid spacebar!
Before I say anything I just need to get it across that I'm new here. Okay, anyway I though the depth of your poem, the meaning behind the words, the way it all flowed together was just... WOW. Poetry comes from the soul, the heart. Some people write poetry from the mind, you didn't. This was ALL soul. In a plain way of putting it... YOUR POETRY ROCKS!!! lol/
A very pretty poem, sad and wistful.
However, I would like to know what you mean by "do you mind if I stay?" Is the poem about a boyfriend and girlfriend? of course I guess that's a thing with poetry: vague meanings and metaphors. might I suggest that rather than "yakking" you use something slightly more graceful like "complaining" or "sobbing?" You might also employ more imagery, it would enhance the bbeauty and sadness of the poem. Overall, though, it has potential and with a little touching up it could be very good. 
I honestly don't know how to respond to that...I mean how am I supposed to respond to that. That poem is...it's just what it is... the truth? A smack in the face? I don't know. But I do know this. That poem is a wake up call for me in a way I never imagined. And I mean that too.