Meeting you was an
unforeseen collision,
an unfortunate stroke of
serendipity; a torrential
rainfall.
You explored my heart
and took the shattered
pieces as a souvenir.
And when you left, I
instantly knew why
hurricanes are named
after people.
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139,516 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
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SapphireEyes here to review~
This is a very cleverly written poem and I really enjoyed it. The only nitpicky thing I have to say is the title is Natural Hazards which would've made more sense if you were talking about an actual hazard as opposed to a natural disaster. However it can be argued that a hurricane is a hazard, when it touches land its a disaster - but I digress.
The first stanza is my favorite - I love the word choice - and personally I wouldn't change anything about it.
The second stanza is good, but the line short throws off the flow a tiny bit, although I don't really know how you'd be able to change it so perhaps it is fine as is.
The wit in the final stanza is what made the poem for me however.
All in all, great work
The title is more in reference to people than the hurricane as its a natural disaster. Thanks for reviewing.
Hi I'm Andy.
I really like this poem. It's a subtle way of saying people come into our lives without reason and leave us without warning. I like the last stanza, it made me laugh a little bit. Makes me wonder where your inspiration came from but it's none of my business. However, it reminded me of my first "love" and how he would've been a hurricane for sure.. I can relate to the feel of the poem and I like that a lot.
That's it exactly. Thanks for reviewing
Hello, I'm Howl.
This was actually really clever, the way you brought in the hurricane idea was great, though, I don't think that the word serendipity should be used in that sentence, and I don't get why you added torrential, because it doesn't seem like it is needed. Would you please be able to explain those two things to me. Thank you for reading this.
Thanks for the review
*Those adjectives were added in as metaphors to describe how the character's relationship was* But I don't want to ruin any interpretations so I'll leave it at that. XP
Oh, thank you for explaining.