If the earth shattered and disintegrated
into fragments of waste,
she would still be all that mattered.
No disaster could dismantle our infinite
collection of moments.
She was the only beautiful thing in this
big and dark wasteland.
In her absence, I am an even bigger
and darker wasteland.
I know that I will find her,
by the tremors left behind her.
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140,229 Literary Works • 673,048 Reviews
I don't even know what to say. It was just that good.
Wow thanks
Nit picking is all this needs, so here we go!
So… three sections and on each, there are different capitalizations on each. "If" then "into" and "she" while on the second verse, "No" "collection" "She" and "big".
So, I suggest making them all capital!
Other than that, I love it!!! Keep going!
I like the play on words with "mattered" whether it was intentional or not. It was just neat. Also, the way you reference the world as her, as if she is your lover, that is just cleverly romantic. Wow, for a draft I am quite frankly pretty blown away. Taking on the form of an earthquake? Humanising an earthquake? Buddy, that is just borderline brilliance right there. If this is your draft, then I'd love to see your good copy because this is outstanding.
Legy
Thanks a lot