Tropical Storm

The feeeels <3

This was sad but also beautiful, in a sad way then, it gives me tears in my eyes and it fills my heart with sorrow, but my favorite line is ''You created a cyclone in me'' that was really amazing, how can you write like this? You are really good, I'm jealous at your talent.

''You were once a waterfall'' is an awesome line, short but powerful and the strongest in this poem.

''Like cold coffee in the morning'' is really well expressed, I like coffee so much and I love that to drink in the morning, by my breakfast ;p, really well penned and don't stop with writing.

Love; Dazzle

Honestly, I don't see anything wrong, or doesn't fit this piece.
It's really, really, really good. It combines two of my favorite things; Coffee & Love.
Things that can break your heart if you don't have them.(or for me it would)


You were once a waterfall; I watched
you freeze into a temperamental statue.
I'm left a fading hurricane, circling memories
of falling in love.
But I'm just falling apart.

That paints a stunning picture. Just really nice words, and descriptiveness.
Keep it up, I would love to have you check some of my work, for advice sake cause your great with poetry. Keep writing!

This is truly stunning. The use of enjambent is really powerful, as it introduces a pause at the end of the line - "like... cold coffee in the morning." It's as if the narrator is thinking about what they could compare this significant other to in a way that would make sense to them.

Also, it's all very fickle - half of me would say it is a love poem, but the other half would argue the opposite - this is demonstrated in the last two lines. Is the narrator heartbroken? Have they been left by this other person?

I like the use of coffee, it could symbolise addiction and potentially represent the narrator's dire need for this other person - even to just get through the day. Very nice.

This is a cool poem. I like the abnormal comparisons, it makes it stand out from other love/lost love poems. I know poems are personal, so this is all suggestion.

maybe throw out "sort of" and just say like. If you want to compare It to cold coffee then don't hold back just throw it out there. and maybe pull cold coffee onto the same line as like

"but you wake me up" I feel that it could be stronger here. Like refresh, energize, rehabilitate, reprogram, rewire, pump me up, awaken my senses, invigorate, rejuvenate, restore, mend, refurbish, revamp, and the list goes on.

maybe throw out the hyphen and start a new line after waterfall, no punctuation needed after waterfall either, and take out the you before freeze since you has already been established.

broken doesn't seem the right word here for a hurricane, to me. Maybe something along the lines like worn out, faded/ing, dwindling, diminishing, evaporating, departing, thinning, deteriorating, this list goes on as well. If you decided to replace the word broken, then the last line "...just falling apart" is no longer needed, and "of falling in love" seems a perfectly striking end.

You brought wonderful ideas to the surface and I loved this! My favorite parts are the "offbeat soul cold coffee" part, and the hurricane which gives a great picture to imagine "circling memories"! Great job!

I see you have a poetry-migrating cold cup of coffee! I think that simile fits this poem better, as this seems a little more down too earth. The phrase itself is also improved, by adding the line break.
The final line threw me a bit. Up till then it was just a love poem, about someone. But I don't see what falling apart means.
The best lines were defiantly the first two, no doubt about it. They introduce the poem in a nice quirky way.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

This is really beautiful! I love this so much. Such stunning imagery, and you really made this topic your own with all these analogies. It's very original and awesome. The ending just blew it out of the water. Phenomenal, really.

My one critique is this

You were once a waterfall - I watched

I don't know, there's just something about hyphens used like this that tends to make poems look sloppy. I would substitute that for a semi-colon. Really, that's all I've got though. This is great! Keep up the writing