Last night I went to bed,
With guilt shining in my heart.
As I thought of my broken promises,
And of my trust torn apart.
Last night I lay awake,
Thinking how I had failed.
To quit the bad and pick the good,
To free myself from my jail.
Last night I shed a tear,
As I craved in another mark.
One more badge of my weakness,
As I whispered in the dark,
"Tomorrow I will right my wrongs,
I will redeem my heart.
I will be strong and I will be free,
Tomorrow will be my new start."
Tonight I went to bed,
With guilt shining in my heart.
Today was yesterday's tomorrow,
I never got my new start.
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140,078 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
Hello! This is a review to you!
While i was reading your poem i loved every line of your poem! I know all those feeling and it makes me sad.
i really liked this one:
Tonight I went to bed,
With guilt shining in my heart.
Today was yesterday's tomorrow,
I never got my new start.
I think you should keep going! I will read your other poems if you have, because i liked this one so much!
- Ophelia
What I like about this poem is how it it is organized with the stanzas, and the way it flows together. There is so much power in the word "Tomorrow" and you used it very well. The line that really affected me emotionally was "To free myself from this jail." because it made me realize that everyone has there own kind of jail, whether internally or externally.
If I had to give criticism, I would say to use a stronger word choice so the poem is more effective in delivering a more powerful message.
I liked the the sombreness and the concept of this poem; it is also correct grammatically. This poem is good, but hte phrasing int he stanzas are very repetitive. It's good overall though. This is a poem I would share with others...
It's a good poem, though the word choice and phrasing could use some work.
Hai there! AlexSushiDog here to review your poem!
First off I really like the sombreness and the concept of this poem; it is also correct grammatically! The only thing I can see that seems to be kind of a problem is that all the verses except the seconds last one start with "Tonight I went to bed". Maybe you could modify that so it too starts with that to kind of keep with the style of the poem.
Besides that, amazing job!! I really liked this!
Alex out, beep.