3:A.M *Not finished*

Hey!!!! I read all the comments and I do agree that I too also would've wished that it was longer. Honestly, You really summed up how you felt and that was what I liked about it. When you said that you were thinking about adding more to it, but you're afraid you'll ruin it, it's totally okay. My advice, if you want to add more, is just think about what made you feel like this in the first place. Cuz it says "you're in my bed again, I try and try but I just can't hide the tears." Why do you feel like that? Why do you feel like you can't cry out? Is this person wrong to you? Do you feel like it was wrong? When adding more to your poem, just ask yourself

"How did this person end up being with me."
"What are my real intentions about what is going on. What do you really want to happen?"
"When did I get into this mess."

Just ask yourself a bunch of questions. I don't know if this is making any sense, but I really hope this helps. Anyway, this was really cute and I loved how quick and simple you were able to put how you felt into words. Good job!

Does "Not Finished" mean you are not done writing it or is that the title of the poem?

Short but gets to the point - the topic is relatable, yet I'd love to see more poem. I do think, however, that the shortness of it gets across what you wanted to get across.

Like alliyah said, I do think the last two lines feel a bit like they've been used before. They're good lines, but I do think there could be more added to the poem itself.

Good job!

Hello there, let's get to the review!

I'd like to see this poem expanded, you have a few unique story threads in here but it doesn't quite go anywhere.

Actually, I know this was probably unintentional, but it might be neat to even play with the theme of "unfinished poetry/relationship" - since you've placed "not finished" in your title. There would be some interesting ways to show the unfinished / lack of closure poetically - with ellipses and unfinished sentences and odd line breaks. Just something to think about.

As far as critiques, I think there's a continuity issue - in line 2. Why is the speaker trying so desparately to hide tears, if it is like at night and they are presumably in their bed. Who are they hiding from? You may have an answer for this, or might have intended like choking back tears or holding back emotion to remain numb. Either way, I think it needs to be settled in the poem.

Small spelling issue, three lines from the end. "to" should be "too" in this instance.

And lastly, I think the ending couplet is a bit generic. "So somebody save me, / I think I'm going crazy" -> it might just be the slight rhyme, but it just feels like something I've heard a hundred times in a pop-song. If you could either dig into that emotion in a more complex way, or give the background reasoning and specificity to that fear and longing I think it'd improve the point, and make it less cliche.

Overall, you've got a concrete character and emotion, and a concrete conflict, those are good starting points, now I'd love to see this expanded where you dig deeper into those themes and really give this poem depth. Maybe even by adding some figurative language, metaphors, or more vivid imagery.

Good luck in your future writing!

~alliyah

Hello fellow writer person! I AM HERE TO REVIEW! Okay so first off, I think it’s funny that we both have stories called “3 Am.” Ahahaha. Anyways! I really liked your poem, and it flowed pretty nicely. One thing I would say is, I wish it were longer, at least a few more lines. I think that it’s a little too short, and now I just want more! I think that’s REALLY going to make me go crazy. XD. Aside from length, I think this is very easy to relate to and it’s easy to understand and not over complicated. So I think it was pretty nice poem, just wish it were longer. ANNNNYYYYYWAYYYYS! Goodbye, hope to read more of your works!

~CAKEEEEEE~

Hi there!
LOVE this poem! It is very relatable and it speaks right to the heart of the reader. I only noticed one typo, and that is on this line:

"I try and try but I just can hide the tears. "

You need the "t" at the end. .

That's all, and sorry it isn't a great review.