Maybe these words I spill are just waves of lies to you,
And maybe your truths are what drowns me at night.
Maybe what used to be burning love turned into deadly lust.
Maybe the fires of desire was burning us alive.
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139,468 Literary Works • 672,573 Reviews
Hey temp!
So I think you could do a bit more with the poem, don't get me wrong, I'm a fan of short and sweet poems myself, but this one didn't quite seem to go very far - and you've got such great metaphors I'd love to seem them developed a bit further.
I like the contrast of the firey love and the words/truths water - it'd be neat if you could link these implicitly in the poem, because as is, it seems like the first two lines are one poem, and the second two lines are another poem. Just a thought on my part.
Still the line about truths drowning is a neat idea! Keep working with that, it's a good one!
Keep up the poeting!
-metrophobia
fear the poem, not the poet
Thank you
Holy crap, Temptress....I'm like speechless right now, this poem may be short but it is so meaningful, so relatable and amazing. "Maybe these words I spill are jsut waves of lies to you." Is just amazing the way a single phrase can hit me so hard is astounding! I seriously think you should bring this to an editor and see if you can get it published because this is AWESOME! Please keep up the good work!!!! You are an amazing writer.
Thank you so much!
Hi Temptress! It's Poppy, and I'm here with a review!
This was short, sweet, and to the point! After reading the first line, I instantly got the picture of a couple arguing, and using word to hurt each other. It was written very nicely, and the way you write about this topic is interesting! I honestly don't have any complaints!
Keep up the great work!
- Poppy
Thank you
Hello! This was a great read! It was very interesting and relatable.
To me at least I think this really represents how crazy life is. but also it shows that those crazy things are the truth of reality. Also, I love the fact that you even made it kind of explain a story while still being all over the place and random.
Over all, amazing! Keep up the good work!
Thank you.