The autumnal sun rises,
the earth burns with a golden hue.
Unfurl,the first red clumps,
Dripping morning's fine dew.
Standing under the sun,
They seem to burn,
Brighter than Apollo's curls,
Along with the winds as it hurls.
Spring thaws the frozen fire,
The red blanket burns higher.
The green leaves stain the air,
Making it resemble Dionsys' hair.
The leaves call out to life,
"I am still alive".
No matter the quenched ground,
The leaves gleam, shine with a 1000 sounds.
Time passes, leaves fall,
They change but never break at all.
Falling to the ground , they call out,
"I am here, another will soon come out".
The maple's leaf may die,
It's soul will go on high.
Engaging in a brawl,
With Janus, looking out for more wisdom to be hauled.
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139,359 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
This is a beautifully written poem. It's very calming to read.
The poem has a great rhythm to it, but in my opinion this part didn't have the same rhythm that the rest of it did.
"Standing under the sun,
They seem to burn,
Brighter than Apollo's curls,
Along with the winds as it hurls."
However, I really like the references to the Gods and other characters from Greek and Roman myths. It was an interesting theme that kept coming up.
Overall, a great poem. I love the subject matter: Not the entire tree, but rather the leaf. It's interesting that we often say that the leaves are dying when they fall off, but technically leaves aren't even alive; its the whole tree. Yet, in this poem, the leaf itself seems to have a life of its own. Furthermore, it seems to be challenging the saying that leaves die when they fall off the tree. The line "The maple's leaf may die, It's soul will go on high" shows this. And it also says that "I am here, another will soon come out." I can't piece it together but its almost like the leaves recycle, that particular leaf may die but next season the tree will be filled with more leaves. Its a cycle; its not a permanent death.
Speaking of that line, though, I feel like it would be more fitting to put "The maple's leaf may die, but its soul will go on high." (Grammatical error because it should be its not it's, but also I think adding "but" improves flow and also contrasts the "may").
Wonderful poem, and a joy to read!
Thanks for the review. I will take care of your advice.
I love the description of this poem and the way it flows when you read it aloud. The rhyme scheme doen't completely work but this is an interesting piece all the same.
The autumnal sun rises,
the earth burns with a golden hue.
Those two lines are an amazing way to start a poem and it captured my attention instantly. I really enjoyed reading it and I look forward to seeing more from you soon.
Keep up the awesome work!!
-JadeLotus
Thanks
I really like this poem!
The only slight problem I can see is that the rhyme scheme doesn't seem 100% consistent, as in the first four lines it seems to be ABCB and the rest seems to be AABB or something along those lines. However, that could have been your intention, I don't know.
I really liked the imagery that comes across within this poem!
Thanks for the review%uD83D%uDE0A