Standing, Sitting, Laying, Sleeping
Ways of deed, we often decide
Not always it is according us
What mind say following thus
Searching Happiness
Or
It arrives on own
Watching the bird chirping
Or water sparkling. . sprinkling
Sky above us delighting
Nature around enlightening
Joy of winning. . dance of achieving
Laughter while smiling
Tears while laughing
Proud feeling of writing
Making me amazing
The PEN is stunning
And PAPER is astonishing
Every thought surrounding
Gives HAPPINESS – Ever bounding
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Hello!
I like this poem simply because it's about positivity. I can't say much except i have got some quick suggestions and if you reconsider them to me your poem will just become-"flawless"!
so, there we go-
1) WhAt is the RAndoM capitalization for? If its for emphasizing that part then sorry because it did not work well.
2)You have maintained a beautiful(i mean it!) rhyme scheme in the second half. Can you do that for the first half?
"Standing, Sitting, Laying, Sleeping
Ways of deed, often deciding
Not always as per our according
What mind says following
towards a happy being!"
Now i know its your poem but this is just a suggestion of how you can change it.
That's it! from my side and i am really happy to know that people are writing about optimism. Made my day, you poem really did that!!
keep writing so i can keep reading!
loves...
I am glad n honoured that you like it. I appreciate that you quoted and surely I'll work on it. Thank you .
hey THZ!
so i'm gonna happily review you on this happy day over this astonishingly happy poem.
well i know what i typed up there dosen't actully makes sence.
Anyway, this was good. i liked the way you said that either life could be spent waiting for happiness or happiness can be found in everything. from the little birds chirping from trees to the blazing heat from the sunlight.
I strongly believe that we should love the life we live and live every moment of it to the fullest. your poem just reviewed my view.
the last lines of your poem are really beautiful, okay scratch that, I feel everything about your poem was beautiful.
so yeah great job and keep it up!
love,
fangirl~
I am feeling honoured. Thank you so much . I appreciate and glad you like.