Young Writers Society

Only some things I thought of correcting if it is right:
I tried my level /good to the best/

To keep everything right and the bond alive

I tried my best to the/ best/

To keep my emotions at heart and strive

I had a confidence that our bond was /the/ best and no one /could/ come in between us

I always had faith in our bond as /the/ strongest

But the fire and steam of misunderstanding came in between

Hope it is as strong as I thought

I never want to have grudge against you

You left me without /a/ clue.

Now I am BROKEN

I don’t trust.

Over all the work is with feelings of sadness but it is really good also!
Good job.

I like the way you started it out because right now I don't know what I am reading from other people but from you I can understand.

Also you are a good writer and I think that if you tried hard enough you could be one of the best writers on the YWS and that is saying a lot because I don't say this a lot but I understand what you are saying in your writing and if you do deride on writing another poem tell me because I would love to read it and write another review because I like you writing.

FROM,
THECATSLOVER12345

Hey THZ,

well that thing you wrote up there was definitely something.
I really loed it. I mean yeah its sad and everything but at the sametime it was freaking awesome.
You know what i believe DOUBT is the biggest enemy of mankind. it always ruins everything.
and hey is "bestest" really a word i mean yeah i got the sentiment with which you used it, not that I'm against using it or something, but just curious.
Anyway i liked the the way you described your feelings over the relationship.
"Now I am BROKEN
I don’t trust"
here in the last line i guess you should add "you". so it would be like
"Now I am BROKEN
I don’t trust you"
The rest I guess is good and requires no editing.
overall a great poem with amazing words.

great job!keep on writing!
Fangirl~

Hullo and welcome to the site!

Line-by-line

1. I think you could have a more interesting title. There have probably been hundreds of poems called Broken and your title is sometimes the only thing a reader will look at before deciding whether to read the whole poem or not. I usually choose that way but this week I'm looking for stuff written by new people so you're in luck

Something a little more interesting might be fragmented or you could go with something like 'The Broken house on the left' which immediately has a sense of mystery about it (though that might fit better with a slightly more abstract poem). You can always try using an online thesaurus to see what other options there might be.

2.

I tried my level best to be the bestest

To keep my emotions at heart and strive

Because for me this relation is priceless

I never want to have a grudge against you

You left me without a clue.