The Tyrant King (Edited)

by Sureal

Published October 30, 2007

In Rubbish Poetry

As part of my Creative Writing course I have to submit a portfolio of four poems by Friday. This is the second poem (the first is The Daemon's Bride).

Comments on this would be incredibly appreciated, especially in regards to the rhyme scheme.
_________________________________

The Tyrant King

The monster with jagged teeth and matte scales
roared again, stood above its limpid kill;
from the amber eyes to the long oak tail,
the Tyrant King stalked the forests and hills.

Blood stained its jaws and chest, a ruddy sheen,
while on the mossy ground lay scattered meat,
a bleak remnant of a death far too mean.
Then, sated, it left, its stride a grim beat.

Yet it is strange to think, that by the Age
of the Human, the King and all its kind
will have changed: lost their scales and all their rage,
beaten low, by evolution and time.

And now outside my window, in the heather,
sits the King: a twee bird of fluff and feather.


-- Jonathan Hyams

Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Evangelina
Comment
Evangelina commented Comment · Oct 30, 2007

Stanza three is my favorite by far. Your rhyme scheme seems fine! The ending was odd, but althogether a worthy read, if not a little bland.

Well done!
-Evang.



If you have a Kuzco in your life and they don't turn into a llama, bail.
— Alan SeaWright