Little Birdie

by Sureal

Published May 14, 2007

In Rubbish Poetry

Little Birdie

Little birdie, do you remember that time,
Countless days ago, in the fogs of memory,
That time, before your wings and beak and feathers,
Before you ran free in the air, before you chirped your songs,
That time, oh so long ago?

Little birdie, do you remember that time,
Back back, before the grass covered the Earth,
That time, with matte scales, jagged teeth and oak tail,
When you stalked the lands, when you roared your kills,
That time, oh so long ago?

Little birdie, do you remember that time,
Long forgotten, but now returned and remembered,
That time, when you were master, when you were dangerous,
Before you turned into that cute, twee, adorable ball of fluff and feather,
That time, oh so long ago?

Little birdie, do you remember that time?
I think so; I think you do,
That time, billions of years ago.
And although the ages have crushed and tamed you, maybe,
You know, I believe I favour you now.

Comments & reviews · 5
User avatar
GingerLizzy
Review
GingerLizzy wrote a review Review · Sep 10, 2007

I cant think of much to say about this to be truly honet - I'm a lot of help! =]

But, I liked it. Even though, in it's length, it was quite long and 'chunky' in the paragraphs, the writing was short and sweet with nice repetition and also, a good flow which made me want to read on. I was never bored during this, so fabulous.

User avatar
Leja
Review
Leja wrote a review Review · May 16, 2007

I liked it; I like how each stanza began with "Little birdie". I don't know if you intended this, but I imagined someone reading it in a sad voice, like the end was known but inevitable.

"Before you turned into that cute, twee, adorable ball of fluff and feather" maybe this line has too many adjectives?

I wish I could say more. I suppose my biggest problem with it is that I don't "get it"; it didn't really make me think or feel any different.

(off-topic: congratulations on finishing your coursework [/offtopic])

User avatar
oregongirl
Review
oregongirl wrote a review Review · May 15, 2007

I really liked this poem! :) It was very cute! It was kinda trying to describe history I liked it a lot :D Good Job! Keep it up!

:elephant:

User avatar
Afterthought
Comment
Afterthought commented Comment · May 14, 2007

I really like this! Especially the closing two lines. I'm not sure about 'Before you ran free in the air' - wouldn't fly make more sense?

Cool poem.

User avatar
Twit
Comment
Twit commented Comment · May 14, 2007

Cute.

I know that isn't very helpful, but that's all I can think of, sorry. It sounds sad and thoughtful, and I think it flows well. The "little birdie" makes it sound like something's been lost.

-Twit



A person is more than their experiences, stacked up like stones... Our best moments are the foundations we use to reach for the sky.
— Yumi and the Nightmare Painter by Brandon Sanderson