Young Writers Society

"But, those words
that we most don’t want to be true
we do not hide:
rather, we grasp the white
and read the black,
over, and over, and over."

This part I found to be a little confusing. I didn't get the words that whoever said them i forgot.
But not bad I liked it Short and sweet and to the point!

I agree with Snoink; the poem is too vague for my tastes. In general, I get what it's about--the words being permanent, people unwilling to accept what they see right in front of them. But I still want to know what the [s]inconvenient[/s] unwanted truth is.

(Oh, you can hide them from sight,
although, unlike a cat, they live
independent of observation.)

I've read this over a few times now (actually several), and the image I keep on forming in my mind is that of a newspaper. It seems to me that the speaker is reading a newspaper; that is, holding it in his hands while reading the articles over and over. Yet, even though he's reading them, he's not actually paying attention to what he's reading. It's a bit like watching TV when you're really tired; you're watching it, but you won't be able to recall anything about it as soon as you get off the couch. In this case though, it's not a matter of him being unable to recall what he read, but rather a matter of he doesn't want to recall what he read for one reason or another.

In any case, the poem flows rather well except for that middle stanza. It's like you're changing from first person to third or second person, and that serves to make a very abrupt change. Plus, the cat reference is a little obscure, and I actually didn't understand it until right after I wrote "plus." Perhaps a bit more of a clue, such as a box or a quantum particle? But, I suppose that'd actually just make it a bit weird.

In any case, the poem is definitely obtuse, but I liked it. The second stanza needs work because of the sudden shift in perspective as well as style.

I have to agree with kittykat. Maybe it's the several days I've spent of editing a story, but there seem like a lot of unnecessary words that were not too specific. And I can tell that they were not specific because at first I thought you were talking about mathematical graphs. I mean really... lines? Curves? For the math geek, that's what I think of first. Which brings us to our next point:

You have to make the letters sound more distinct.

There are probably better descriptions that can more accurately portray typeset than the words you used. In fact, you can even subtlety mention a couple of obscure font styles and describe them.

So be more specific! Right now you have a bunch of useless words thrown in (think: useless words = pronouns) that fail to describe or, when they do describe, describe something so vague that it is meaningless. Bring out your thesaurus and be more specific.

Uh... I don't know what to put. Nothing here made any sense to me. What are you talking about in your poem?

1. we need to know what your talking about

2. what are these lines and what are the colors for?

3. read 1 and 2