I spelt your name out.
On walls.
Everywhere I went.
But just the walls in my head.
I couldn't paint your name
As graffiti.
You only loved me when you were with me
Our love was secret
We couldn't make it public
No graffiti
I remember when I did write your name in the wall
You painted on it
With blood.
My blood.
A warning.
You didn't want the world to know
Of our love
It wasn't a love the world was used to.
What were you afraid of?
Why do you stress on what others think
And not what you yourself think.
Have we forgotten to think for ourselves?
You loved me. You still love me.
I think.
But you hated the thought of loving me.
Because I wasn't what you were supposed to love.
We are hooked on each other.
And hung on hangers.
Hung in a closet.
And locked inside.
You can't come out. They can't see you.
But you're not there anymore are you?
I'm alone in the closet.
Where are you?
I can't come out on my own.
I'm afraid of the light.
It'll blind me.
...When did you come out?
You promised you'd help me out.
I can't do this on my own.
Help me out.
Let em talk cause we're dancing in this world alone.
World alone.
We're alone.
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125,021 Literary Works • 672,740 Reviews
WOW! The relation between divulging the love in public and the graffiti is simply awesome. Have got great creativity in you.
My heart does melt for the words painted here:
I don't know what to say, the feel is so deep. It's really so moving. oh my god, I like it so muchhh.
This is my favorite. Yeah, this is a problem faced by many many couple. In love we tend to lose our joy if we focus on other people's opinion. Glad that you brought it here, so relatable with the title of the poem.
The scream of the pain is well portrayed in this poem.
Overall good work. Great imagination, metaphors, emotion(so strong)..each and every factor in this poem is appalable.
Keep up the awesome writing!!
The poem seems to be about a love relationship frowned upon by society and how the speaker strives to persuade the other person who has left the relationship to return. What that relationship is exactly is never clearly described but only strongly hinted at.
For example, the speaker calls his own blood white. Tells us that others consider their romantic relation wrong. So what immediately came to my mind was racism and the social barriers that it causes at that point in the read. Otherwise, why describe his own blood as white and the otgher person using it as a rebuttal to the graffiti?
Comparing the relationship with illegal graffiti illustrated the social opposition that the two persons were facing since usually graffiti is socially frowned upon and considered vandalism. So I understood it to mean the type of graffiti which is unauthorized and frowned upon and usually defaces property instead of adorning it with property owner permission.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graffiti
The entire focus of the poem is on the speaker expressing disagreement with how the other has chosen to terminate the relationship due to social pressures. Describes himself or herself symbolically as having been left alone in the closet.
Now up to this point I had assumed that the problem was racial opposition to interracial mixing. But the with the word closet, I began to suspect something other than racism, something having to do with same-gender sexual attraction. As I am sure you know, being in the closet is a way in which homosexuals refer to those who don’t publicly announce or reveal their sexual inclinations but prefer to keep them hidden.
So these two hints, the white blood and being in the closet seem to fight for the reader’s understanding of what the situation really involves. If both exist, then the speaker is perceiving two problems. But what the speaker seems to perceive as the main problem is that the other person has chosen to discontinue their secret relationship. The speaker refers to this as having been abandoned in the closet of secrecy alone whereas before both had been there together before. Seems also as if the person is now flaunting his lifestyle and the speaker can’t seem to do the same and is asking the one who left to help him or her to come out of the closet so he or she can also participate.
The poem does succeed in conveying the desperation that the speaker feels for the other person’s return and assistance. There is also a very strong tinge of envy since the other person who left has thrown caution to the wind and is no longer secretive and the speaker still feels locked in the closet of secrecy and incapable of doing the same.
That is my understanding of the poem.
Oh wait. I didn't realize the white blood would be a confusion. This poem was focusing on issues of sexuality. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
Then mentioning that the blood is white might not be a good idea since it can lead to that misunderstanding.
Fixed that
Hey, StoryBraniac! Aulyasela3597 here with a review! I really love how you choose the title, your words sounds melancholicly beautiful. You did a great job pouring all your emotions here - regret, pain, desire and understanding.
Oh yeah, to be honest, this poem really describes my current issues in a relationship. And it does makes me feeling like being stabbed in the heart and it is very beautiful! I would love to seek more of your poems in the future!
Best regards,
Aulyasela3597
Glad you liked it. Hope things will work out in your relationship. See ya around.
I love the form and your creative use of graffiti to conceptualize permanence and confidence in being who you are. Your simple phrases evoke a complex set of emotions - regret, pain, desire, understanding.
This poem brings to light many issues today concerning relationships and public approval, and it does so in such a beautiful, poignant way.
I'm glad you liked it