Alone somehow

This is an emotional poem. The way you wrote it made it clear that there were genuine feelings attached to the words. I sensed a touch of desperation in the middle, and towards the end, which I liked a lot, as I felt it added a nice touch to the overall poem.

On a more personal note, and this may sound weird, but I'd like to say that even if you feel alone, just remember that you're surrounded by a community of artists who love you and your work. You're an amazing writer, and you deserve to feel better than this. If you need anything, message me, and I'd be more than happy to talk. I don't know if that was necessary but I hope you're feeling alright.

Hey Spartain118,

I think it's really nice to hear you writing such an honest poem. You can tell this is written from the heart because you're focusing so heavily on yourself and what you really want to get out and express to other people.

I really think that's great.

I think there are a lot of things you can use to supplement your message so you don't just get people hearing about how you feel, you also get them feeling how you feel so they can really empathize with you. There are thousands, if not hundreds of thousands, of ways that you can do this. It's just going to take exploration on your part to figure out the best way to implement these things. In other words, if this is the type of poem you want to write, you're going to be writing a lot of this type of poem before you get a really really good emotional connectivity with the audience that reads these types of poems.

After all, Sylvia Plath is a super popular dark poetry writer and people who like this type of poem are going to be familiar with poems by her like "Mirror" and "Daddy" and they're going to be comparing you to her. So what do you do?

My suggestion is start by picking a metaphor of something that someone else can feel, probably start with tangible things, so that it's universal. Everyone agrees water is wet, sort of thing, so pick something like that and do a metaphor from there relating it to how you feel. That's going to invite people who will never meet you into something they can experience with you.

I hope this helps!

Hi Spartan118, acm here for a review! I really liked this poem for a few reasons. It hit really close to home, especially when I imagined myself when I was in that position a few years ago. I really liked the verse where it talked about people asking what's wrong. It's a trap, because you can't answer that you're not okay when they won't understand. Anyways, I found this poem very relatable. There were just a few things that I would look at.

I feel alone
Everyone around me
Doesn't even notice
The pain I feel.

I lie and say nothin.

Me in a nutshell. Good rhythm, spacing and concept. Good job!