Done dirty

This is good true confession of yourself. You've helped connect your personal experiences, and help the readers connect their experiences as well. This makes a very appealing "eye-candy" to readers.

Content wise, it seems you've done good justice in expressing your feelings and thoughts behind your personal event. Expressing the idea of "cheating" in love is a good subject, and it does well in appealing contemporary audiences.

Grammar and Spelling wise, everything seems intact. You may want to consider using changing the phrase "Cause" into 'Cause. This is so that grammar wise, what you want to say comes out clearly. Otherwise, no big issues.

Structure wise, I feel you could split the poem into separate stanzas. One stanza could focus on your take of the issue and how your girl left for someone else. The second stanza could be the after-math of the issue - starting from "Every time I think of you...".

Since your poem focuses on a particular personal event, you've made it very coherent for the readers to understand the situation in a crisp way. You've written the poem in such a way that people understand the past, present, and future of this event.

I don't seem to find much literary devices used in this poem. I only find terms such as "dirty" to discuss how this girl had cheated on you. In the future, I hope for you to incorporate literary devices to add more power and emphasis to your work.


My personal rating for this work is 3.3/5


Keep writing

Heya, Spartan!!

This is Eros here to review this beautiful piece of poetry!

The title of the poem attracted my eyes. The whole poem kept me reading continuously. I loved it.

The theme was unique. It had a lot of deep emotions behind it. You have described the felings of a person who has been betrayed or lied. Beautifully expressed.

I liked the flow of the poem. I felt like walking on the pathway of feelings through the poem. Wonderful!
I liked the choice of set of the words. I liked the poem overall. There is so serious flaw as such.

Keep writing...
Never cease...
Because we all love to keep reading such AWESOME works like this one!
Have a nice day/evening/night

I could feel the emotion behind the poem very well, but I think that a little more harmony between the stanzas will improve the poem further. For example, adding a smoother transition between "When you had the one" and "But I guess it wasn't real". (I hope that makes sense) Overall the poem was excellent, along with it's grammar and spelling, and I think that the more you write the better and better your pieces will become! Can't wait to read more of your works.

Hey Spartan118,
Myjaspercat here to give you a review

So I noticed that you were kind of new to the site (not to new but recently new) so I just wanted to say welcome to the site and I hope you get all the help and growth you need to become an even better writer and hopefully one day the best that you could be. Anyways, lets move onto the review why don't we.

You did me dirty and Ok so there's a few things with this line that I want a little clearification with. For one, I know that you kind of described what you ment by 'did me dirty' but I'm still a bit confused. Second of all, the 'and' in the line isn't that much of a problem but it still feels like it's been cut off a bit to short and it sounds a little weird in my mind.
I never want to see you again.
I can't get over the fact
That I loved you. I don't personally like these two lines. For one the whole start to this poem seems to be a little bit rushed. For one there doesnt seem to be enough background yet (even though poems dont necessarily need background) but anyways, like I said, there isn't enough background.
You left me for another man
When you had the one, This line dosen't make much sense to me. Like I kind of get what you are trying to say and it kind of makes sense to me but I am still a little bit confused. Maybe a little bit of clearification would be good.
But I guess it wasn't real. what wasn't real?
Every time I think of you,
All I see is rage inside
Cause of what you. Cause of what? I think you cut this line a little to short. Second of all I dont necessarily like the imagery here. Instead of telling your reader that your character (or you if this is something you have actually experinced) feels rage, show them. Give them some sort of detail, some feeling rather then the obivous words to let your readers know how your characters are feeling.
I've been done dirty before,
But never like this. Again, the whole 'done dirty' thing doesnt make much sense to me.
I hope you're happy
Cause I am moving on. Again, I don't like this line. There isn't enough feeling to these lines.
You did me dirty Anjelica,
There's nothing you can do
To get me back.

Basically, the distinction is this: telling merely catalogs actions and emotions, showing creates images in a reader’s imagination. It’s the difference between the laundry list and the laundry.