Just the Same

So this poem strikes me as a lot of yours do, rough. I'd like to work with you on revising and punctuation. I know that sometimes you're good, sometimes you're off balance. This poem is a prime example of something being a little off balance. You bring in punctuation in two ways, but not consistently. First, you have the start of every line capitalized. Although that used to be a standard in poetry, it isn't any more. You can go ahead and do away with that if you're comfortable doing so. Next, you only punctuated the last fourth the poem! For me, I like to go all or none unless I have a very exact and specific reason for either picking up or dropping punctuation. Consistency would make this poem a lot better. Punctuate with periods, commas, etc, through the entire thing, and see how you like it. If you don't, then ask why you don't like it, and cut what's making you dislike it. If you like it half punctuated, try reading it out loud. Whenever you pause, put a comma. Whenever you stop mentally, put a period. This is going to allow people to read it as you read it, which will convey the poem better in the long run.
I like that you stick with one idea through the entire poem instead of jumping around between a lot of different ideas. You stick with you and me, never talking, even though x and y and z. That's a good example of consistency and how it aids a poem.

Hello sparkle!
I'm hanorah and I'll be reviewing your poem today.

First of all, well done I love the meaning of this poem as I can relate to it,and I'm sure many other people will too.
It has a nice flow to it,many poets can't get that rhythm right,but you did.
I like how it rhymed,some poets find that hard too!
The only constructive critism I have is that you should break it into stanzas and use more punctuation,but apart from that it was good.i would give it 9/10.
~keep writing!!

Hello Infinity here to review.

I'll start by saying I love the meaning and thought gone behind this poem and very interesting concept. I like how you've made an everyday thing, which we don't usually notice into something deep and meaningful, well done.

However I do have some suggestions to make.
I think your poem would work better if it were split up into stanzas and had more punctuation/grammar in it, it would improve your poem even more.

"Isn’t it strange
That I’m nothing like you"

This is a question so it should have a question mark at the end of the sentence I presume.
You also need a comma after strange.

"We both do what we do
That we think different thoughts"

This line is a bit vague, what exactly do you both do?
Thinking different thoughts is what every human does, I think you can go deeper with this especially with talking about thoughts.

Overall great poem, keep writing!

Infinity x

Hey there!

Hm. I can't tell if I love or hate this, but I do like the message. I felt like this is true, sadly, that we don't give people a chance and feel no need to reach out to strangers - that we see the differences more clearly than the similarities. I also liked how you started it off, posing a question almost a bit ironically, a bit sarcastically - nicely done.
"But we feel the same things
We both do what we do
That we think different thoughts"
I find the second line to be a bit useless, it seems like a filler of sorts. Then, the "that" implies a tie to the second line, but it feels quite disconnected.

"In the same sort of rhythm
That we pass people by
And the next day walk with them
That you are a stranger
And you are a friend
And we both can break
Soon after we bend"
Hm. I feel like punctuation would be beneficial to the smoothness of this. Possibly a comma after the "by", leading into the next line. Now, it seems as though, once again, there is a disconnect - you jump from "and the next day walk with them" to "that you are a stranger" without saying they realize it, or something such as that. I did enjoy the part about how we all break and bend, despite it being a bit tired. The rest of the poem is pretty much the same thing, although "gory" seems so out of place. I honestly thing adding punctuation throughout at key places would make this a much better read, so I'd say just go back through it, or at least put it in stanzas! I enjoyed the last two lines, it summarizes the overall theme well.

Overall, good work, do a bit of editing and keep it up!

~Epic

This was really deep. I liked how you went into human nature by saying that some days we ignore people, and the next day we can't get enough of them. That really conveys our society right now in the perfect words. We will pay attention to whoever the media is paying attention to, but anyone who is considered unimportant is glanced over. I also liked how you said, you may be my friend, but I couldn't tell you the littlest thing about you. I may be getting everything about this poem wrong, and if I am, tell me, but I like it for how I interpreted it.

Wow..

I liked this..

I would like some commas, as you have other punctuation, and it doesn't feel complete without the commas. Some commas after each stanza are nice, and I would like to see some.

I like this, as you compare different things, and how they can be alike...

This poem is very true.

Some stanzas would be good, that might help us get the whole feeling, but it really is up to you.

Favorite line: That we like some things sweet
And other things gory

I feel that line is a really... comparison so to speak. As it says we both like sweet things, and yet we both like gory things.... A very interesting thing to compare..

Anyways,

Team Fire Flower!

Thanks,

pegasusgirl2