Words do not come easily to me.
They flit away like dancers
and I chase after them, always
too slow, always
too clumsy.
-
They gather and swarm in my mind, banging
against my skull, pressing
against my mouth, but
my traitor tongue trips over phrases and
my lips would not risk causing offense with speech. Better
to risk seeming stupid than mean, better
too quiet than too loud, better
to have no opinions at all than to have the wrong ones.
-
Ask me a question and watch me try to dance,
answers forming, quickly lost or rejected,
nouns and verbs stumbling and trading places,
inexperienced ballerinas making their debut accompanied
by an entourage of clarifications and apologies
and then silence,
waiting for the audience’s reaction.
-
Words do not come easily to me
and so I watch the show from behind the curtain
and silently wish I could join in.
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
I really liked how you've made use of the words, I still think you could work on a few things.
There has to be a flow to poems, it was somewhat lost here. You should start each line with capitals and use commas effectively.
I like how you used repetition and rhyme. It didn't seem so catchy, I didn't get engrossed in it, so it was poor in presentation. Not look wise, but stanza formation wise.
"Words do not come easily to me
and so I watch the show from behind the curtain
and silently wish I could join in."
This was the show stopper, really the ending was great. Expected but great.
"inexperienced ballerinas making their debut accompanied
by an entourage of clarifications and apologies"
I think I understood this line, but somehow my understanding doesn't fit in quite well here. Please elaborate on this one.
Over all I enjoyed the poem, a good expression of feelings and inner turmoil.
Keep writing and stay blessed. xo
Thank you for writing this poem that so perfectly describes me and my problem with speaking. People always ask why I don't talk very much, and you summed it up in one beautiful poem. Maybe I can start showing this to them for an answer.
My favorite thing about this poem is the lines that say, "Words do not come easily to me, and so I watch the show from behind the curtain, and silently wish I could join in." Reading this I can visualize the shy, little dancer peeking their head around the side of a big, heavy curtain. I can feel their longing to be part of the show and the pain they feel because of their desire to be heard. And I can sympathize.
Comparing speaking to dancing is a wonderful, effective metaphor. Honestly I can't find a thing I would consider changing about this poem.
Good job!
Thank you for your reviews, I'm glad it meant something to you!
I really love this poem. It describes what I feel pretty well. Which is also pretty sad, because who wants to fit into a stereotype? Oh well, it definitely stirred up some emotion in me. One time I said something bold to this racist girl, and I spent an hour in the bathroom after that, Speaking is so difficult, but I really like your poem.
hah i'm sorry, i've commented on the wrong thing. See speaking is too difficult for me.
It's all good, believe me I know the feels lol. Thanks for your review!