The clock ticks
and it seems I have forgotten
how to cut myself open
and spin the ink in my heart
into webs of words.
My fingers fumble,
large and clumsy,
as I try to remind them
of the way they used to dance
and twirl
and bow.
With a sigh, I pick up my paints
and cover tired eyes and blotchy skin
with gold and copper
swirls and curves.
I am a Norse goddess,
cold and strong and beautiful,
and I am a break between drops of rain,
iridescent and fleeting.
I hold the empty paper
to my mouth and nose
and break through a filter of questions
left unanswered
and things
yet unsaid.
The clock ticks
and every second is a heartbeat
and every minute
is a thousand years.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,603 Literary Works • 672,933 Reviews
Hey!
Nargles to review for you.
You have a really good poem, filled with some rather beautiful imagery and language.
I love the way you have used art, weather and Norse gods to convey meaning and to enhance the poem overall.
You do a good job in getting the awkwardness out of the persona, and to show how they are uncomfortable in their skin (that is what I got from it anyway), the idea of forgetting how to express oneself is shown beautifully through
"and it seems I have forgotten
how to cut myself open"
My favourite part was
"With a sigh, I pick up my paints
and cover tired eyes and blotchy skin
with gold and copper
swirls and curves."
I love the way you have used colours here, it is just so beautiful.
Anyway, good job and keep writing!!
Nargles xxx
I love your line " every minute is a thousand years"
Hey Viv here.
I love the poem and the first line. But I don't really get it. The title is "The Things Unsaid" but I don't get how. I know the poem is deep and I know in this verse you do say it, but I'm still confused.
" I hold the empty paper
to my mouth and nose
and break through a filter of questions
left unanswered
and things
yet unsaid."
This really is a good poem. Please specify.
Hi Sparkle,Dream with review on your poem.
The title caught my attention to read it. It is an external reflection of what you will try to convey in your poem. In your poem, I noticed that you have use some language styles to enhances the poem.For example, metaphor and hyperbole.
All these can increase the attractiveness of a poem, but often exploited until it is difficult to convey the real meaning in a poem.
Some part of this poem can be understood based on the title of the poem itself.The poet says that he/she often caught in 'dead-end' when seeking to express words.So he/she can not express anything on sheets of blank paper.This is the only thing I can understand based on this poem. The rest seem confusing even though the use of diction seems interesting.
Overall, improve the use of punctuation marks to smooth the rhythm and the way you use language style. Keep it up!
Kudos,cheers.
Hello! I just finished reading this & this piece of work is simply smooth & pleasant to read. You really have an awesome sentence structure when trying to appeal to what you are trying to say throughout the piece. I really like the fact that you used a Norse goddess to continue with your imagery you had going there also! But I definitely look forward to reading more writing from you. So keep on writing the best pieces you can
Hi there Dragon the leave a reply and a review
Okay first of all it was very emotional and a lot of detail
and filled in everything i needed to know
And the poem was just so wonderful that i had to read it again over a little shock
I say out of 10
This is a 8/10 score so keep it up you did well and remember to have fun and Enjoy life
Keep it up
Welcome Dragon!
The only Dragon of his kind!
Hello.
I think this was brilliant.
It is the best piece I have read on here and now my favorite. I love every metaphor, and especially the Norse Goddess line.
I love it.
Well done