Just Clowning Around: Part 1 - Prologue

Hello there!

Great opening for a horror story. The vivid descriptions of dried blood and rotting flesh immediately created a deliciously disgusting atmosphere that any common horror fan would enjoy -and that the more squeamish ones would probably recoil and gag at. If it wasn't clear, I mean this all as a great compliment, haha.

You did a very good job of describing the twisted demeanor of the main character, Rei, in this one short chapter. That one line, the "I-didn't-get-caught smile," immediately conjures a classic picture that I think everyone can relate to, and it also says a lot about the character himself. Someone naive and mischievous, but very disturbed. Yet, interestingly, he also seems clever as he takes the time to write out and plan his killer strategies.

That was a chilling cliffhanger, as well, and I want to keep reading to find out.

This is also a nice length for an opening chapter. Albeit short, it does exactly what an opening chapter should do. It sets a precedent and a theme, introduces the main character, and sets the stage for something great (and bloody). No cluttered introductions or info-dumping, just a simplified-yet-effective theme. Spelling and grammar were overall good, *maybe* those lines, "he stood up and paced the room. Formulating a plan." would read better if you had a comma between them instead of a period, but sentence structure can be so subjective, it's nothing critical.

Overall, 10/10, I would read more!

Interesting. I love how disappointed Rei is when he realizes that the police didn't find his other victims. And now he has to prove that he's killed so many more people.

The solid details you use are excellently chosen, particularly the screaming clock and then misshapen chair. Adjectives like that are powerful and lead to excellent mental images. Good job!

I also like that you kept it short. I don't know if this is personal preference or a standard, but I feel like short prologues tend to be better. And you aced this one. Good job! Although, maybe put a note in at the beginning of chapter one that there's a prologue? I missed that, and read chapter 1 first.

Good luck with your next masterpiece,
Kaia

Rei sounds like a zany little guy! Just an overall, all-around, fun little clown who loves mayhem and murder. I like Rei’s design, it’s cute and creepy. But from the description, it seems like Rei wasn’t always this way. So what happened to make him go down the path of crazy town? I guess I’ll have to find out. Please tell The Happy Clown I said hi.

I’m intrigued by this story. :0 I wish you a fantastic day/night.

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: This is a pretty powerful piece that you've got right here. I think it does a wonderful job in terms of really building up the character of this person and establishing the horrors that are being performed here.

Anyway let's get right to it,

The room was dimly lit by a single hanging bulb. The room reeked of death. The smell of rotting flesh and dried puddles of blood wasn’t exactly what was considered an ideal scent but to Rei nothing said home more than the disgusting stench that filled his nose.

He smiled. Not a happy smile, but a I-didn’t-get-caught smile. As he made his way through the room, the clock in the wall struck midnight. It didn’t ding, ring, or coo but it screamed. The screams sounded like music to Rei’s ears. He quickly turned on the tv and sat down in his misshapen chair. He was pleased to see that the reporters were broadcasting his accomplishments first.

REPORTER: Two bodies found dead in a local apartment complex. There are no signs pointing to forced entry or that these victims struggled. This has left police baffled and unable to point fingers…

Only two? Rei sighed. He must’ve hid the other bodies pretty well. This wouldn’t do. What he scattered the bodies around town? Leading the police on a wild goose chase? That sounded like a good idea. Clapping his hands together, he stood up and began to pace the room. Formulating a plan.

Once he had an idea, he sat down at his rusty, blood-stained desk. He began to scribble fiercely on blank paper. He wrote down strategies, possible ideas, and his overall way to execute his plan perfectly. He was still listening to the reporter as he wrote.

REPORTER: Police have informed us that the only evidence they have is the name of the killer that has been inscribed into the palm of each victim. Who is The Happy Clown?

Rei smiled as his name was now well-known amongst the public. Now his only question was…who’s his next victim?

Helloo, I am here! (And I'm not gonna lie, I almost got a heart attack from that cover picture-)

Anyways, jumping into the story. I really like the descriptions that you used, especially at the start! The imagery is vivid and gruesome, and the screaming clock is super creative.

Rei is terrifying. I'm scared. Now I'm kinda glad he didn't show up at the group project (though, I'd love to see him in action, so feel free to use him more in the RP). And here I thought Eric was the creepiest one in it xD but lo and behold...

I think there's one typo here, but it's the only one I see:

What he scattered the bodies around town?

Howdy hey! Gengar here to give a review!

I don’t usually read this type of story, but I thought this one was really interesting! I’m always down to read stories involving clowns!

I don’t see a lot of stories with evil protagonists, so that was definitely something I liked. Rei really scared me! I also like the cover and Rei’s design (if that is meant to be Rei)

I feel as if you need some commas in places, such as these:

The smell of rotting flesh and dried puddles of blood wasn’t exactly what was considered an ideal scent but to Rei nothing said home more than the disgusting stench that filled his nose.

It didn’t ding, ring, or coo but it screamed.