I Won't Leave

This is a deep emotional poem! It explores themes of friendship, mental health, and unconditional support. The speaker shows unwavering dedication to someone struggling with dark thoughts, emphasizing their commitment through repetitive promises and reassurances.

The imagery shifts from darkness to light throughout the piece, with metaphors like "eyes used to shine as bright as day" and "your sky is dark" effectively conveying the contrast between past happiness and current struggles. Really nice work! - ZK

This is amazing. I myself have felt this strongly about somebody in that position, and it's hard for the person on the other side too. It's hard for me to know if you're writing from your perspective of somebody else, or if you're writing in the eyes of somebody who cares for you. Either way, it's a beautiful piece of work. Keep this up. I would love to read more of your work and understand more of your writing style.

I love that you started out with "I can't lose you too". It shows this person has already experienced the loss of somebody important, as well as showing a great deal of love in the author's heart for this person they are writing about. Your poetry is beautiful. Good job.

- Brooklyn

Hello there, human! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the haunting S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - This poem/song is about a narrator who does not want the person they love to deteriorate away. I don’t know if this is a stand alone or if it’s part of the “Happy Clown” stories. If it’s a stand alone, it’s lovely on its’ own, but if it’s part of the “Happy Clown” stories, then it is a lovely edition.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I personally have no recommendations to make as of right now, but if you would like to edit this, then that is your personal choice.

Chocolate Bar - I love the kind words that the narrator is saying to whomever they love, it shows how much they care. If this is about Rei, then I think it would be someone who cares about them saying this to him. If it is platonic love, then it might be his brother, Damian, who still loves him deep down. Maybe it’s romantic and it’s somebody else. Either way, I think that the emotion behind the words is displayed well.

Closing Graham Cracker - There is love that stretches deep down, but is it really going to work? Will love win all, especially when the hate can poison so horribly? The words are etched into the heart, sweet, thoughtful words, tender nothings whispered in an ear.

I wish you a beautiful day/night!

Nice poem written by the author.

The author has explained his/her feelings in a great manner, love, separation, guilt, pain, all together, which surely leaves an effect on the reader's brain.

"I can't lose you too
Open your eyes and see life through
I'll be there every step of the way
Don't listen to what they say
I wish I could take you away"
First line explains that, the author is already in pain. The pain of losing someone or maybe the pain of being lonely. Second line explains how the author encourages his/her partner to look at the brighter side of life instead of focusing on the misery he/she is facing (great message conveyed by the author). Third line explains author's determination and sincerity towards him/her. Fourth line explains how the author encourages him/her to keep going on with life and avoid what people say. Fifth line explains author's wish to take him/her and together get out of this 'artificial world' full of liars and back - stabbers.

Keep it up.
Waiting for more.
Thank you.