Young Writers Society

How come this happened to me while I was reading this???

Very relatable poem though. Fantastico!

Oh my god! I have naturally long lashes (no joke). It hurts so much to remove. I usually throw handfuls of water into my eyeball to get it out. Then everyone and their abuela asks why my eyes are red or if I’m crying. Abuela = grandma in spanish. I thought the poem was a fun little break from all the serious poems I’ve been reading. Now about you and your space fetish. I get that it helps convey your mood and all, but does every random poem need it? In this one it works because an eyelash is suck in the main character’s eye. However, it makes the poem harder to read. I am not saying close it or write it in the traditional style, but please a little less of a gap. Overall, humorous poem and it should get a Politzer Prize. XD

THIS LITERALLY HAPPENED TO ME YESTERDAY IN THE SUPERMARKET! I was wearing eye makeup and couldn't rub it so I had to appear casual in public while this EYELASH burrowed into my eyeball aaaaAAAah *inhales*

Yeah.

Good poem, Shey.

This poem is so, so hilarious. Since its been some days since you published this poem, I assume your poor eye is hale and hearty now. Of all the awkward things which may happen to a person, yours is the funniest and rarest one I've read about. You wrote the poem well and made it easier for the reader to visualize the entire incident in front of his or her eyes and be able to relate to it, for, almost all of us have had numerous embarrassments in our life. I agree with Iridescence who says that using a spacing/format instead of the basic block format adds flavor to the poem and the "send help" line at the end is really nice. You did not use long, complicated words in the poem and kept it really simple, which added to its charm and made it somewhat more real. This amazing poem appealed a lot to me. It is a storehouse of humor, sarcasm and awkwardness. Simply loved it!

I think something got stuck in my eye now. Great poem by the way.

I sympathize so, so, much.

Hello! Irid here with a review.

Now I don't really know what to say in this review but this was pretty funny! I do like the spacing/format so it does add some flavor to it, instead of a basic block format. I also really like the "send help" line at the end. I do have a suggestion. I would maybe add more imagery to it to mke it more dramatic, yet in an ironic way. Just a duggestion, totally optional! Thank you for the read, and my apologies for the short review. I'd like to see some more poems like this!

-Iridescence

-Calls leh 911- HALLPPP MUH FREND NEDS YO HALP!! LEH EYELESH IS EEEEVVVVVIIIILLLL!!!!! HANG IS THERE LEH SHEEEEEYYYYY!

love!!!

THIS IS HILARIOUS LMAOOOOO I LOVE THIS

SHEY I WAS THE ONE WHO INSPIRED YOU TO MAKE THIS A PUBLISHED WORK

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH LIKE I'MMA BOOKMARK THIS AND SAVE IT WHEN I NEED A LAUGH

THIS MAKES ME WANNA WRITE ONE LIKE YOURS

I'M SORRY I AM SCREAMING IN CURSIVE AND ROLLING ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT THIS

SHEYREN YOU ARE AMAZING FOR POSTING THIS

First of all,

I'm very sorry for your eye. I understand this pain, for I have experienced it before. It is not fun, especially when the lash gets, essentially, lodged into the corner of your eye for all eternity and no matter how much you poke around in there, it just gets further and further in. And sometimes even then, sleep does not grant you the sweet release that you ask for.

BUT! About the poem ; )

I appreciate the dramatic spacing. It's what makes the flow work so well, and what makes the joke so funny. That, and this is in poem form. If this were in sentences, it wouldn't be nearly as entertaining. Hence, the way in which you presented your ideas through poetry was key. ; )))

I appreciate the "send help." CLASSIC punchline (since like, 2013 or something, I'm terrible with years).

Best of luck with your eye,
soundofmind

Hello, Sheyren! Gxldencrxwns here for a review!

Okay, first off. This made me laugh harder than it should of. How the words are separated and entered the way it is was pretty funny. I don't have very much to say about it, I didn't see mistakes, but it seems weird without commas or periods. I know this is a joke and I won't point out every single thing in 100% seriousness, I just felt I had to say that.

Well, I don't have anything else to say about this, except that send help dead center in the middle at the end was a nice touch.

~gxldencrxwns