Young Writers Society

Hiya Seirre! Lim here with a review for you

First Impressions

The first thing I notice about this poem is that it’s very self-referential. I noticed that it talks about wanting a “7 panel post”, and this so happens to be the fifth panel of a 7 panel post. It’s kind of interesting that it talks about wanting the post that talks about these kinds of souls while also being the post that it wants. The voice feels very stream-of-consciousness, with very few long pauses (at least, the way I read it) and the overall shape looking like the speaker just had so much to say. The speaker also comes across as having a very commanding tone, like they’re trying to convince someone of something, with words like “gush on” and “write” giving the audience instructions and phrases like “i will”. The images that linger in my mind after reading this are “red skin peel away” (an interesting tie there between puzzle pieces and sunburns!) and “like ships on a still harbor” (which is quieter than the other descriptions and so stands out).

Interpretation

From what I gather, this poem seems to be commenting on how people praise connections that form very easily and ‘properly’. The speaker instead commands that the audience pay attention to the various other kinds of connections people might form. There is this motif of chaos and intensity in a lot of these, such as “two puzzle pieces butting heads”, “catching their breath”, “obnoxiously bright”, “forced together”, except for the second-to-last one which is the complete opposite of that, being “softly eased”, which seems very low-key and tranquil.

Voice

Something that is very strong in this poem is the voice. The speaker has a very distinct personality that is perhaps amplified by all the formatting details like the hashtags and their username being ‘crashing.comet’. Their mood is frustrated and their attitude towards the state of Instagram posts, I guess, is disparaging. They say “i've had enough” and “i will take anything over another lowercase exaltation”. The way I interpret it, even when they’re talking about connection and praising it, it’s about criticizing the thing they want to criticize, the kind of connection that is praised by the other Instagram posts. Having that in mind, I like that the word choices throughout the piece reflect this critical attitude towards the medium, using phrases like “wannabe poetry” and “gush on”. Though of course, there is the possibility of a literal interpretation, in which case these word choices would still be good because they reflect the speaker’s passion for their cause.

Continuity

While I understand the general themes of the piece, each connection the speaker describes leaves me feeling a different mood and thinking different thoughts. For example, the first one seems like it’s maybe a story about personal development, about a third member balancing out the other two, but then the second one seems to be some kind of enemies-to-lovers story. They are also described with different strands of imagery: the first seems more domestic while the second has this sun motif. I think it could be said that the variety strengthens the speaker’s point – to say that all these other kinds of connection are good and poetic and worth exploring? At the same time, the way that the ship-motif one suddenly becomes very quiet only to move into ‘loud’ images of souls that “crashed into each other” left me feeling a bit dazed and unsure if there was a meaning behind that contrast. I was left with the question: are the differences between the relationships described relevant to the difference between them and the “just click together” relationship? Hope that makes sense ^^’

Overall

I like the concept of this poem and think it’s creative. Self-referential stuff always gets me. The voice was really memorable as well and helps to unite the different aspects together so I can imagine this speaker as being a detailed character. If the intention was to portray each relationship as being disparate parts of a set, like a few different puzzles, then I think the slight discontinuity and quickly changing mood from one image to another works, though it did leave me feeling like I needed more context, as I said.

Hope some of this helps, and feel free to ask for more feedback/clarification!
-Lim

#whyisthispoemsogoodgmo

Hey Seirre,

Just wanted to quickly leave a comment here that I think this poem is so neat! I keep re-visiting it and seeing more cool aspects. It's almost genre-bending, because it could totally be an instagram rant, and yet it's undeniably poetic.

You also manage to bring this way past gimmick into just very solid poetry on its own, especially enjoyed the imagery throughout and the inventive language you use like "squint-inducing" & "lowercase exaltation" & "pebbleworth" ahhh there's just so much voice all over this piece. And then the whole double-entendre of "click" like "two people who connect in some fantastical lovey way" and "click" like "clickbait" is really neat too.

I interpreted the theme/message to be an ironic commentary on the speaker being sick of so much poetry being about the serendipitous meetings of lovers (reminds me a little of the song "Love is an Open Door" from Frozen <.<) that seems almost manufactured stories for content and the speaker is longing to hear something a little more real? / natural? / magical? -all the while they're actually playing into (or maybe just fighting) the social media scheme by making their plea through instagram.

also the hashtag "buysomesunscreengirlie"ohmygosh

Have read this 3 times already, and am sure I will return again ~

Edit: And I love that the whole poem could be read as an ironic critique of the instapoetry genre too, in that often conventional "instapoetry" is sort of put out there seemingly to boost likes for manufactured vulnerability and magic, but might not actually hold either of those things.

Great poem, keep on writing! <3

~ alliyah

Goodness! That is so true! If I have to see another post talking about how “perfect” they are for each other,I’m going to throw up.Real life isn’t a fairy tale.It’s messy and chaotic.I agree with this Instagram post 100%.I honestly think people who talk about how picture perfect their love life is are full of it.Those are just my thoughts.I hope that you will have an amazing and awesome day and night.