Hey Seirre! Just some thoughts here; hopefully some of them are helpful!
Interpretation
As I read the first two parts I thought "Aha" this poem is about someone living in a sort of cyclical nature - perhaps dealing with a polarizing life of highs and lows (or death/life) - and even though there's a sadness to having the realization of those lows there's a peacefulness to the narrator's voice in the first tow parts with the notes like "nostalgia," "sleep," and ""not an altogether unpleasant feeling" - maybe the peace comes from being aware of their emotions / experience or maybe they hope for the second horizon.
I don't usually think your poetry is very religious; or I would tend to think of the second horizon as a heavenly / or even reincarnation to go with the wheel/cycle imagery allusion - and to me being able to see your funeral canopy is actually a hopeful thought because it means some aspect of you is still alive / aware! I actually thought the whole part two felt very Buddhist - not knowing whether in the next life will leave them an "angel or demon" with a pleasant or unpleasant rebirth; leaning into life as a cycle; and finding peace in becoming aware of death. The line "over-nostalgic memories that haven't happened yet" also I think lends itself to that.
And then the third stanza is a bit more unsettled but still finding their part within the whole in a balance (<- another big Buddhist ideal expressed as 'the middle way').
But then I get to part four and all my ideas are kinda flip flopped / confused for interpretation - as it doesn't seem to have anything to do with peace / perseverance / cycles / or religion/philosophy outside of the fact that I do note that the narrator has changed from "i" to "we" so maybe have had some sort of epiphany and are one with the ducks <.< but I think that's probably a stretch!
So suffice to say - as I was reading it, I was really finding a lot of connections / ideas and then when I got to the final couplet was not sure what to think!
In light of the final two lines maybe the theme is contradiction or just absurdity in general?
~~~
Favorite Lines
I thought you had a lot of SUPER intriguing lines in this that really hopped out at me as philosophically rich.
Your second line is such a surprising twist after the first line because the 1st line sets up - okay is this going to be something very angsty/confessional? and then it turns into this interesting deep psychological twisting statement "a crackly VHS reel of over-exposed and over-nostalgic memories that haven't happened yet," - love the image and the whole line. Very interesting.
"it's not an altogether unpleasant feeling, / knowing the canopy of my funeral."
I just liked this image too - because it was surprising and unexpected but also made sense when thought about!
I also liked the blend of formal and informal language / phrasing throughout because it sort of gave the reader a mental break with all the heavier pieces of imagery to have sort of some lighter phrases throne in, and also gave the poem a unique and modern voice.
Suggestions
I liked a lot of what was happening in the poem, but for me had a hard time figuring out how to connect the last two lines with the rest of the poem - I do see you've sandwiched the poem by making both the first and last lines end in observations about "the day" - but maybe there could be a little more connection? I think that the first two stanzas although had a lot of variety and breadth still had some common themes / images with time and cycles / spinning (VCR Tapes always have sort of cyclical film and barrels, coughing, and sleep also feel like they fit in the "cycle" family of imagery. I think it'd create more points for connections if the final two parts of the poem also had some more cycle references - or if there was another thread that sort of linked them altogether (though maybe there is and I missed it; also totally possible!).
I also thought the line "metamorphosize into an angel or a demon" was a bit hard to wrap my mind around; and felt a little disconnected from some of the other conflicts expressed which seemed more like internal struggles with emotions & external conflict with time / living versus angels/demons which implies maybe an inner moral turmoil they are fighting which doesn't come up anywhere else in the poem.
Overall this was certainly an interesting poem to consider and think through! Side note: I also enjoyed the presentation of it - and thought the break up of sections with really diverse line lengths went well with the content and mood of the piece.
Let me know if you had any questions about my review!
~alliyah
ps. happy revmo!
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