Monsters.

I'm loving the metaphors in this. And it's very dark and haunting, in a honest way. I really love the lines "We flirt with chaos; We chill your sun. We darken the day; We fracture trust", I can really relate this to situations in my life and I like when I am reading something that I can connect with. I also I like the perspective the poem is written from. Overall very nice.

So this is a pretty good poem i quite like it but is this like the monsters inside of you? or like actual monsters? also you are portaging them as all evil but as you know some are good so maybe you could focus on multiple sides be multiple sides not one sided!

hey this is Sam123 and i am going to review you. Ok so i like your poem a lot. but i have only one question... is this like monsters under the bed or metaphoric monsters. but everything else looks wonderful, keep up the good work

my one question is are we talking in metaphors? is this really about the mosters that hide in our closets or the monsters that live deep inside of everyone?
I think the fact that each line begins with "We" gets a little tiring after a while. But other than that it is a pretty good poem! never stop writing!

Hey,

I am umaima and i will be reviewing your poem today!

To start with, great job scandalous, You have a nice piece here I guess you are really afraid of monsters as it can be seen in your poem (the way you described them) and well you have been improving ever since your first one (I read your first one here) so congrats.

now coming to the flaws or drawbacks of this poem. It was a nice poem no doubt and can be considered enjoyable but it is missing some of the basics in it.

The poem continuously uses the word 'WE' in it which makes it interesting at a point but also makes it fall back at another. When you continuously use a word through out your poem you should take care that the lines are all together very attractive and attention seeking. Here when I read it, it took be off in the middle. Basically you are describing the same thing throughout the poem. Some lines are more or less the same. So next time when you make a poem give a different meaning to every line or else you only tell me what's the use of reading the poem? when a person reads it she or he wants to know what's in it but if everything in it is more or less the same then why would anyone bother?.....take this in a positive way and think on it and yes it is just an advice, you can take it or leave it, your wish.

Then one more thing, you should probably try to break it into stanzas because that's the charm of a poem. It is broken into stanzas and we enjoy reading it that way so try doing that. Stanzas can be of as many lines as you want but try to make them equal (It makes it look perfect) and try to make the stanzas of 3,4 or 5 lines as that is more preferred.

Well that's it for now because saying more would only be wrong at my part because i am nothing near to perfection here...lol

You know you should keep on writing because only by doing mistakes does a person learn to be better So keep writing and I bet you will grow into a wonderful writer one day.

Hope my review helped.

when i read this I got the image of shadows and a smile that gleems sharped fangs and saliva dripping from the lips. you dont know which monster it is or which one tells you that its there but the idea of everything that monsters do makes you think about the people that made them up in the first place.

in the writing, try to make it rhyme. there are some things that you can play with to make it sound like a childrens grimm rhyme if you do it right. like a warning to the kids right before they go to bed and why they should go out during the night.

I like it. keep it up