For When The Sun is Down, He comes to play.

wow I especially love this piece you wrote its so mysterious and magnificent wonderful job as usual I think my favorite part of it is We tirl, we step, we glide, in a never ending game of chance. it's a wonderful way to put it and I also love this line The Reaper is at my door;
asking for a dance.
The room chills and I smile;

taking life away at a moment’s glance.
so great job I'm going to go read more of your work keep up the great work

I really liked the message of this poem, and I liked how you used figurative language to describe depression. The one thing I will comment on is how it is organized. There is no set number of lines in each stanza and that distracts me from the overall message. It is a bit choppy, so you could try to add more lines or combine a few stanzas. Just my thoughts.

Hey! Welcome to YWS! I hope you're settling in nicely, and good work on doing some reviews already! I'm going to review your poem

"The room chills and I smile;
taking life away at a moment’s glance."

That last line is far too long. It feels rather awkward. The other three lines have 7 syllables, 5 syllables and 6 syllables; similar amounts. The last line needs about 6 syllables too. Instead it's got 10! Find some way to make it shorter

"We tirl, we step, we glide, in a never ending game of chance."

Nice line here. A slight typo of 'tirl', you probably mean twirl This line reads really well.

"s the season turns cold, He tightens His hold.
He cackles into the night, enjoying the perilous flight.
His urges, his whispers are everything to fear,
for they hold nothing but indistinguishable lies."

With the rhyme scheme you have in this poem, flight and lies really ought to rhyme. I really like the first and third lines in this stanza. The second line feels a bit forced and possibly a little long and in the fourth line, indistinguishable feels a little long. Inaudible would be a slightly shorter alternative with a similarish meaning and sound...

The seasons turn warm and they are lightened.
His urges are gone, his whispers are wind.

I like this. A bit of warmth and nice stuff at the end of a kind of dark poem.

"For now at least."

Oooh, I like this ending even more. It is extremely ominous!

In conclusion, a pretty nice piece. I thought it was about the Grim Reaper trying to persuade someone to commit suicide, not a playboy like the other reviewer said? It's got some nice imagery in and the only problem is that some of the line lengths are a little off.

HOpe I've helped! Ask me if you ever want another review

well this was a great poem and I enjoyed it and also it had a meaning, + loved your idea of describing a playboy

but heres the problem it was a little less descriptive and couldn't actually get into the poem..otherwise your poem was real good

so keep on writing and hope to see more works from your side

umaima