Stop Comparing Me!!!

Hi, I have a question. Did you not get enough time to lengthen it?
The topic you have chosen is a daily phenomenon of lives of almost everyone. When I read the description of the file, I expected a long poem. A loooooot of things can be written about this. I see you are new here and maybe you have just started writing. Well, for a beginner, this "may" be overlooked. But, don't disappoint the readers. This is the worst thing a writer can do.
A suggestion for you, feel more and read more. Again I say, FEEL MORE AND READ MORE.
I assume that you are compared with the best guy very often. So, you must feel a lot about it. Where are the feelings? They are missing... Also, the comparing isn't really shown here.
At first, fix what you want to write about and then feel and think what you will write about it. It is also very important for you to understand the expectations of the reader....

Well, I am new here, too. So, my review may sound a little bit disorganized. I will work on my weak points while you work on yours. And I am expecting a better version of this poem..

Overall it seems like a rather poorly structured lyrical piece. To start off on line 4 it seems that the typo for "ufellowyou" makes the whole sentence seem really incomprehensible. The transistion into talking about "you" seems anti-climatic and rather choppy, you could totally fix that though by easing into it better with some sort of phrase to build upon. The whole comparison thing just seems so cliched and uninspired, it has potential but it was just so poorly presented that it just makes the whole thing seem like just a gloss-over of an actual problem that many people deal with. Overall it could really use some work but keep on trying! You can really do something with a topic like this.

Hello, Singham! I'll be reviewing your poem today!

First and foremost, I like the premise of the poem. It communicates a powerful message, a strong one, and one that many people can relate to. After all, it appears that a part of life is built on comparisons - in particular, comparisons between people. And there are who don't have the opportunity to succeed, or those who, for whatever the reason may be, do not have the kind of success of other people. Unfortunately, these people can be judged on a faulty scale, something that I despise happening to others, but, worse yet, happens to quite a lot of people. In my opinion, it's ludicrous, and bordering on plain stupid, when these people are unfairly judged and compared against much more fortunate and successful people. Therefore, I love the way that you clearly communicate this message, highlight how, as a result, it leads to high expectations being forced upon other people. This can lead to depression, or perhaps it can lead to a sense of futility, neither of which are healthy emotions in a human being. The message of this poem is beautiful, far-reaching, and thoughtful. You certainly chose a good topic for this poem. Well done! *thumps up*

However, while I believe that the idea of this poem was exceptional, I can't say the exact same for your execution. I felt that this poem was a tad blunt, and, in the middle, somewhat mashed together. The first few lines were fine; they flowed smoothly, were consistent, and were a nice opening to the poem. However, on the fourth line, we go from talking about this powerful person to "ufellowyou stupid fellow." I felt that it was way too rushed for my tastes. We suddenly jumped from one idea to the next, and I feel that it would be better if those words were made a line of their own. That way, the reader could focus quite clearly on first the successful man, and then on the plight of the second man, who is facing much more severe circumstances. Better yet, you could also add a beginning to that line, which ties together the two parts of the poem strongly and powerfully. It would help to communicate your already powerful message in an even stronger manner, which, considering the impact of your poem, is all the more exceptional.

Nevertheless, I loved this poem. Its message is powerful, intense, and thoughtful. While the execution of the poem could use a little bit of work and care, it still is a fantastic poem. I enjoyed reading it from start to finish; it really is beautiful. Well done!

Hi,
When I read the title I was thinking about how I have been compared to a lot of people and its not an experience I would like to keep living with but I think everyone gets compared to people like why can't I just be me. The first three lines I feel like you should explain more but then that would have to be in a short story, but when it comes to talking about the other person it is more understanding. I feel like you have had a lot of people compare you as the poor, me on the other hand I don't think so I think you are different because you see the difference in high and mighty to poor old man. This poem speaks to people who feel the same way and you captured how it is on both sides. Overall I liked it. Keep writing.