Young Writers Society

Hey! ChocolateCello here!
Here to save you from the green room! (Happy review day)

Really great poem. Everything was described really nicely and I think it all flowed nicely. Just a few minor things though.

"I know it is what I have worked for all day in out,"

This sentence is a bit unclear. Maybe you meant 'day in and day out'? Not sure. But right now it just sounds like you worked a day for this moment.

"They all come every thing I come to fight"
This sentence is a bit unclear too. Not really sure what it was supposed to read as but I found it a bit confusing.

Also, two minor things.
A) Watch your spacing, you have some double spaces where they aren't needed.
B) Don't put words in all caps- in this poem, everything is fine with normal capitalization and having those two words (Grave and but) feels out of place.

(Oh! And some sort of punctation at the end of the poem?)

Hope this helped!
-ChocolateCello

Hm, this is an interesting poem to say the least. The words allow to me create a pretty simple picture in my head, mainly due to the fact that the topic of stage fright isn't anything new. There are so thing I would recommend changing, however.

First I wouldn't use all caps to emphasize words. In fact, the words you chose to emphasize seem out of place when read with emphasis. I feel it breaks up the poem too much. However, since you chose to put emphasis on those words, it would look a lot cleaner to italicize them rather than write in all capitals. Just a little thing that bugged me bit. Other than those points listed, I feel this poem is pretty good. Keep up the good work.

~The dark one.