I lie among the dark green blades
Their sharp edges
Deliciously prickling against my skin
A soft breeze sings in my ears
Her lilting music
Causing my curls to drift about
The sun gently kisses my face
Her sweet warm arms
Lovingly wrap around me
Light dances behind my closed lids
For a moment she hides behind a passing cloud
I stand
A sad smile plays across my lips
As summer drifts away
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Canary word: Present
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125,009 Literary Works • 672,836 Reviews
Hello there!
I like the mood, the setting, and rich feel of this poem. Nothing to nitpick here -- great job!!
So, not a lot of people can weave together a poem, without really rhyming, and with just a few simple words bring together a painting in the mind. But that's what you've done here, so my hat's off to you!! (Well, if I was wearing a hat it would be off to you.)
~WritingforHim99
Thank You!
Wow just wow... you're imagery was breath taking, and the personification is so flawless my heart nearly punched through my chest... (sorry disturbing O_O) Any ways I love how you describe the golden beauty of summer, then gradually sadden the tone that summer will yet again die. "I lie among the dark green blades... deliciously prickling against my skin." (This stanza was deliciously beautiful! XD) Along with when you compare a soft breeze with a song, the sun kissing her face cradling her, it's like an infant being put to bed, so warming really. I can just go on about how beautiful the structure of your poem is, but I'll just run into wonderland amazing! Keep writing! You're incredible and just an amazing poet!
Thank you for sharing your summer land with us!
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it so much!
This poem is beautiful!
I love how it brings forth the presence of a rhyme scheme, yet there is not one to be found. It kind of emphasizes the beauty of the sadness you're describing.
I also love the way you use personification. It's a common thing with poets, but you make it seem like a new thing to me. Almost a knew form of poetry... or an old form being reintroduced.
Truly a splendid piece. I love it.
Good Luck To You.
Thank you!
No problem