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The Waiting

by Ruby68


I told myself I wasn’t invested

I told myself I was just having fun

I told myself I had changed

I had moved on

I had fallen in love

And out of love

I had learned to speak up

To be decisive

To follow through

I told myself I was different

It was different

Mistakes were made

I was young

This time, it would work out

But

If it didn’t

I would be fine

I’m not invested

I’m just having fun

Yet here I am waiting

Waiting for my phone to light up

When it does

It’s not him

Making the same mistakes I made before

Telling myself it’s different

Crying over him again

Just when I decide I’m done

I steel myself and promise to stay away

My phone lights up

It’s him

We begin again

I wait


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431 Reviews


Points: 13818
Reviews: 431

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Thu Jan 17, 2019 2:14 pm
Liberty wrote a review...



Hello Ruby68!!

Liberty500 is dropping in a review! :D

First:

I really love how you used the word "invested". You did a really great job writing the entire poem!

Second:

In this line: "I stele myself and promise to stay away". The "stele" needs to be "steel". :D

Third:

Again, this was a magnificent poem, I especially loved your title, "The Waiting". :)

Keep on writing!

~Liberty500




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562 Reviews


Points: 14535
Reviews: 562

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Wed Jan 16, 2019 9:10 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hi, Shikora here with a review.
So let's begin.

I really liked the name you have chosen for this poem, it was very interesting and I came to read the poem to find out what it meant.
It was nice to have long poem to read, and it was filled with so much emotion, so great job.
I think the words you have chose is really good, they just go really well together.

Put there were a few things I saw that needed to be fixed.

So the first thing I saw was that you say I a lot in your poem. If it is possible it would be nice if you could change them to something else like me or something, but if you can't then don't worry,

the next thing I was saw that you don't have any punctuation in your poem, It did affect the flow of the poem, and the way we were meant to read it. So I'm going to show you a place you could have put comma or something like that.

I told myself I wasn’t invested

See your first line in the poem needed a comma. But if you are having trouble putting punctuation in the right places, then you can read your poem aloud to yourself and were ever you take a breath, or think it's a good place for you you should put some punctuation there.

The next thing is really small.
I stele myself and promise to stay away

The only spelling mistake I can see is the word in bold. That should be spelled like this, steel.

But other than those few things, this poem was really, really good, and I loved reading it. I hope to see more of your lovely works on YWS really soon. Because I can't wait to read more. Never stop writing and have a great day/night.

Your friend
Shikora. :D




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40 Reviews


Points: 17
Reviews: 40

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Wed Jan 16, 2019 3:53 am
Justlittleoleme2 wrote a review...



This poem is so perfect. I think anyone who has ever been through love, over love, and back to love again can relate.

We all tell ourselves we have grown, we aren't as invested as last time, so we won't get as hurt as last time, but all love is new.

Anyway, the only real criticism I have is that in the 5th line from the bottom stele should be steel.

Thanks for sharing! Keep writing! ^-^





Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
— Pablo Neruda