I don’t feel anything but numb.
The nothingness seeps through my body
Like my blood has been replaced with pure Novocain.
My heart is there
In the same place as always.
It stops and starts,
Like always,
But it doesn’t feel.
I am thankful for the emptiness,
I cannot handle the pain.
When the Novocain fades,
As it inevitably will,
I fear I might disintegrate.
Maybe I am in shock,
That happened to a girl on a show I used to watch.
A strange kind of sound comes out of my lips.
It might be a laugh.
It doesn’t sound quite right.
I’m opening my front door,
I’m not sure how I got here.
I pass my mom.
“Did you two have fun?”
She is smiling expectantly.
“It was fine”
I don’t remember telling my mouth to say that.
I shut my bedroom door.
I lie on top of the covers.
I stare at the smooth white ceiling.
I feel everything I’ve pushed away
Lurking just below the surface.
It presses against the wall I have built.
It threatens to come crashing in all at once.
It waits to slice me open and set me ablaze.
I feel the wall beginning to crumble.
So I build another.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,346 Literary Works • 672,539 Reviews
What can I say that hasn't already been said? First off, this is beautiful, give yourself a round of applause and a pat on the back. It's relate-able, it's raw, I love it. I loved your first stanza about the Novocaine. It helped set the tone, and immediately tied in the title. It also made me listen to Novocaine by Frank Ocean. There's not much new to add except for keep it up. The was a little cliche. The bit with the walls. A well-used cliche but still. I'd stay away from that kind of imagery. Great piece, keep them coming
Wow, this poem is honestly perfect. You have amazing descriptions of words. This really helped me visualize what is going on, vividly. Keep up the amazing work of being a writer,
Remington38 here, it's a pleasure to meet you:)
Wow, I wish I could give this a second star. It was so beautiful and so relatable to the audience I feel, very few are able to capture and describe the numbness like the way you did. I definitely felt the emotions of the protagonist very clearly, and connected them to my own even more so. I also really love how you brought it how the character builds up walls, that I as someone in the audience can really relate to this. The word choice is fantastic and I love how prominent they are and effective, like "ablaze" or "lurking". They add so much to the poem. You are a very talented writer and poet. Have a wonderful day.