Really hoped you were the one
We seemed inseparable
You sparkled in every way
But diamonds are never enough
The smile was a messed-up mask
Not far below, bitterness was boiling
Coldness doesn’t work with my warmth
So I need you to shut up and step back
Chorus:
I’m tired, I’m tired
Of you being in my life
I’m tired, I’m tired
Don’t know why you give a damn
Just ‘cause you’re so sweet
Doesn’t mean we go together
So I’m tired, I’m tired
Get out of my life
Look at me, notice me
A lot of good it’ll do you
You blew your second chance
Moving on, next suitor up
No last words, come back
A little bit later, I’ll try you again
Chorus:
I’m tired, I’m tired
Of you being in my life
I’m tired, I’m tired
Don’t know why you give a damn
Just ‘cause you’re so sweet
Doesn’t mean we go together
So I’m tired, I’m tired
Get out of my life
Bridge:
Just letting you know
I stuck my neck and tried my best
Got heartfelt, cracked down
What’s my reward tonight
Nothing, so don’t come back
Ever again
I’m tired, I’m tired
(You’re so out of my life
Had a chance, blew it)
I’m tired, I’m tired
(Oh! I’m tired, I’m tired
Just get out of my life
Get out of my life)
I’m tired, so tired
(Get out of my life)
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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139,414 Literary Works • 672,558 Reviews
I agree with tnme22- this was a pretty decent song. The hurt was brought across in a less obvious way- that is, you kept the clichés on the down low as it were and were pretty honest. I respect your lyric writing. I had some issues though.
This line stuck out like a sore thumb. It read awkward:
I think you could re-work that a little. In your haste to be original, you sacrificed the simplicity of your lyrics.
I also thought the 'Oh!' in that line was a little random.
Anyway, that's all I would change. Good job.
Eimear
In the first line I think you should add 'I' before the 'really'. 'I really hoped you were the one'.
))
That's all I would change
I liked these lyrics. Everything flowed well, there wasn't any forced rhyming. I liked the subject and how you showed the hurt and the sense that they're moving on.
It was nice and simple but I could really get a sense of how it goes and the chorus is really catchy
Nice job, gold star for you!
((love the avi by the way
-Carly