It’s been a whirlwind
A color of emotions and more
Everything was clear
Until you shut the door
-
And right now I can’t trust
Who’s by my side
Their faith could turn to dust
If I tell them who I really are
-
Chorus:
So help me with this fear
Of a lonely rainbow
Save me, draw me near
Say to me you’ll always be here
To help this lonely rainbow
Not to disappear
--
I once was on false ground
But the truth reached for me
Now I can see you around
As I start to forget and be
-
Chorus:
So help me with this fear
Of a lonely rainbow
Save me, draw me near
Say to me you’ll always be here
To help this lonely rainbow
Not to disappear
--
Bridge:
And I wanna take you in
Merge my soul under your skin
I turn myself inside out
I wanna know you without a doubt
And when I cry
I know, without you, I die
---
It’s been a whirlwind
The colors of love and more
Everything brightened
Since you opened the door
-
So help me (with this fear)
With this lonely rainbow
Save me, (draw me near)
(Say to me you’ll always be here)
To help this lonely rainbow (to help me)
Not to disappear
-
So help me with this fear
(You said you will)
Of a lonely rainbow
Save me, draw me near, oh
(Say to me) You’ll always be here
To help this lonely rainbow
Not to disappear
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140,552 Literary Works • 673,424 Reviews
I think this is a really good song. It flows really well and i can feel the emotions oozing through every word.
However I must be a little picky. the lines:
"To help this lonely rainbow
Not to disappear"
It doesnt work for me the, "not to disappear" bit. Now i have tried to think of other lines that would fit in there but i have come up with nothing lol. It would be fine how it is but it sounds weird when i read it. I dunno.
I especially like the lines:
"It’s been a whirlwind
The colors of love and more
Everything brightened
Since you opened the door"
I really love how this flows on from the first stanza, from being lost without them to loving having them around. it makes for a very good climax to the song
All in all really loved reading this. It gets my approval
I completely loved your song. I can totally relate to the lyrics and I agree with Sliversun on the fact that your bridge was awesome! Keep up the great work.
Hello there! I've got only a couple of comments really.
I think the are should be am.
I think the chorus should be a little longer. I really like the feel of it, but it seems that you could add more to it. Now, I'm not one for wanting to add words if it seems forced, but if you can think of anything that flows well,I'd add it in.
There should probably be another verse between the first chorus and the second, but like I said, only if you can think of a nice one.
I really love the bridge, in fact I think it's the best part of the song. It's very deep, yet totally relatable.
So, I really liked the song, and definitely think you should keep going at it all! Hope this was helpful!