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139,564 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
That was beautiful and heartbreaking.
Edited. Thanks Jon!
Heya Rosey.
I'm not so good at reviewing poems and I usually never read them, but this one caught my eye.
I like how you showed the prospect of growing up in this. The things we, as adults, are going to miss. Your poem made me quite sad.
I know, not much of a review. But it was a lovely poem Rosey. Good job.
Happy Writing!
Meadow
Hey Rosey! Jon Here!
How reminiscent of you, Rosey.
Anyway! The review:
I think a dash would have been better suited with the line above this one. You change ideas/times so I think there should be a pause.
So the play set was burned down? Try to use a symbol here. Say something like, "I can still see the ash on the ground." We will obviously know that it was burned down, and, it makes for a good line too.
Add a dash after the beginning sentence of this quote. Get rid of 'was' in the ending line.
So: My childhood here --
now only footsteps in the sand.
Overall: I liked this poem, Rosey. It was something different I don't see all that much in poems, which is a child's memory coming in retrospect to who you are now.
Good job, although, it could be polished a bit more.
---Jon---