Well, I started this review when it was still in the Green Room, at least.
Hello!
It's definitely been a while since I reach a bit of Cat Steps, and please forgive me for not catching up on everything beforehand (the brief synopsis at the beginning of this really helped! Thanks for doing that!).
You're definitely a skilled writer. The language was clear, and it was such an easy read. Everything was vivid and the world building is, of course, super vivid. Everything that I expect from your fiction!
Anyway, my big note (having not read everything before this section) is that there really aren't any stakes for Kerani. Like, obviously she's been poisoned with the baddest of bad poisons and that's certainly dangerous, but nothing about being poisoned this way is challenging for Kerani. I understand that this is her strength. She is well practiced with managing poisons and has taken steps to better immunize herself against poisoning. There's nothing wrong with that; it isn't out of place and it makes a lot of sense.
From a storytelling perspective, though, it's just not very interesting to spend 2,000+ words reading about a character overcoming a simple challenge. It's hardly even a challenge at all. Kerani realizes what she's been poisoned with very quickly, apparently before any lasting damage has been done, and then she is able to get immediately to the correct healer who gives her the correct antidote straight away, and she seems to have recovered enough to be back on her feet in a few hours. Less than a day, at least, by what other characters say to her when she wakes up.
Perhaps everything is not as solved as it seems at the end of this scene, and circumstances will turn more dire for Kerani and present a true challenge for her to overcome. Even in that case, I think this scene here can be significantly reduced. There wasn't a point where I felt concerned for Kerani's safety, and 2,000 words of flat-lined tension (especially when the main character has just been dosed with a deadly poison) just doesn't serve a story as well as it could.
The twist of Kerani easily overcoming one of the most deadly poisons is an interesting one, for sure, and I can see why this scene would be included. Though her health is not impacted, it does seem as if this incident has raised the tension/stakes on another task she needs to complete. That's great! But you can probably accomplish the same exact thing in almost half the space on the page.
Hope that all makes sense! Thanks so much for sharing, and please keep writing!
--Lauren
Points: 370
Reviews: 541
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