The pearls once on a string,
were scattered like petals of spring.
Once adorned a gentle hand,
bought from a wealthy land.
Gifted by a lover's heart,
precious for the earnest thought.
Now flung on the floor with cries,
screams the maiden "Lies, lies, lies....."
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139,564 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Perfect image for the subject matter and nice rhymes along the way too!
Thanks!!!
Heya, Ruby here with a quick review! I usually split them into three different parts: overview based on structure and base language, deeper meanings and inferences from particular sentences as well as phrases and a conclusion formed from the 2 paragraphs prior.
Overview: Short, simple, yet touching. I feel it could have been longer, maybe telling the story with an extended metaphor (just an idea) but I do like it as the poem is as well. It's easy to understand which is good for us readers that decide to come online at midnight - totally not me right now.
Further reviewing:
On a string...a necklace. They look beautiful and shine desirably, just as trust does I guess. Everyone can see the beauty in relationships in partners, friends or even family. It shines...showcases itself even. Everyone knows.
Again, this shows trust. Gentle touch can really improve a relationship as it increases the feelings of security, safety and protection.
She threw them, threw them out of rage. The anger of something they thought would be forever. She thought they loved her, gave her the safety she craved. But at the end of trust came lies.
Conclusion: It was amazing, it was easy to read and didn't bore me from a long piece. Keep up the great work and stay safe,
Rubes x
Thank you for the review!!
Hey!
RandomTalks here for a short review!
This was a really interesting poem. I liked how you told a simple yet impactful story within just eight lines. Each word had a specific meaning and purpose, and the fact that it wasn't long or too flowery makes it all the more special. I am really really bad at reviewing poetry, but this was a great poem so I thought I should let you know. The last four lines were my favorite. Keep writing and have a great day!
Thanks a lot for the review RandomTalks!
I love this, the rhymes are so good and it feels as though I'm reading an ancient poem. Which is really all you could ask for.
You described the feeling so well even those who have never experienced anything like that can relate.
when you wrote:
"Gifted by a lover's heart,
precious for the earnest thought."
The flow broke a little because everything else rhymes and these don't.
Other than that, its an amazing poem and you should keep writing forever!
I love this, the rhymes are so good and it feels as though I'm reading an ancient poem. Which is really all you could ask for.
Thanks <3
Heyyy! Forever here with a review!!
First of all, it was an awesome poem, I should say. Though very short, it has a deep thought as well as a deep message in it. It speaks of a person who has lost his love and also the person who they had trusted but the person proved to be a liar. I think this poem is the mouthpiece of many individuals in the World.
Something which I wonder about is the rhyme scheme. The rhyme sceme seems to be AA BB CC DD. I guess that was what you tried to achieve. However, does 'heart' and 'thought' really rhyme with each other? At least to me, it doesn't appear to be so. Maybe just consider thinking it over. It actually obstructs the otherwise beautiful flow of the poem.
Now, let me try interpreting your poem a bit.
I guess this is a description of the necklace the maiden used to wear. The necklace looked very beautiful just as the awesome petals look like during the speing. I loved the alliteration tho.
This is really a great description of the hand of the lover(I guess this person is the true lover. Sorry if I am wrong.)
Now, this line is a bit confusing. Um... Now, who is this lover? The fake one or I am confusing everything, I guess. Whose thought are yoi talking about? The true lover's thought? Appears to me so.
Ah this description of the true lover is just awesome and is relatable to many people throughout the World.
I hope I have interpreted the poem in a right way.
Keep Writing!
~Forever
Thanks a lot for the review Forever <3
As for the interpretation of the poem, it's okay for you to interpret it how you like. Some poems are meant for the readers and this is one of them, let it be to you whatever you want it to be
I really appreciate this poem. I appreciate the way you approached the readers with your alliteration, and the ways you painted a picture anyone would be able to look at and admire. Only a few talented people can write such images in such a short amount of time! Keep writing!
Thanks a lot!!!
Hey there! I enjoyed reading this. Your rhyme scheme is well balanced and easy to follow. The poem is short, but does a great job at painting the mental image. I really like how you've tied the emotion to an object, which has a nicely different twist from what I've frequently seen, where a character in the poem or the narrator are bringing the emotion on the scene. Great work!
Thank you
This is a great poem! I can imagine the pearl necklace being thrown and the pearls scattered to the floor as the maiden screams at whoever betrayed her.
It can feel like that sometimes, when your trust in someone is broken. For some people the string comes loose and the pearls scatter all over the place, and it takes a while to find them again. For others, they manage to salvage their necklace before it falls to the floor, but a few pearls are still lost in the process. Whatever happened in this poem, it caused the former to happen.
The rhyming is great, and the theme is intriguing. I thank you for presenting this piece! Keep up the good work!
I am glad you liked it
This is quite interesting, honestly. This feels like a short story, and I'm quite curious and would LOVE a sequel to this! This mysterious tale-like poetry starts with a background story about a pearl necklace it seems and tells that someone must've worn it.
I also love the use of your similies and rhymes (rhyming never was my profession), and I enjoyed it, in conclusion!
I find rhyming difficult but I guess I managed this time. Thanks for the review!!!