Young Writers Society

Good morning, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever applies to you in your specific time zone. Anyway, onto the review. Your poem was really pretty! I loved the way it flowed! It follows the story of a “little brown girl”, and her journey through life.

They step on thorns
on hard spiky rocks.
They fall in holes
and get stuck in logs.

They bleed, they hurt
and are wetted with tears.
They are grown strong
and are seasoned by wear.

A tall brown girl
with little brown feet
once soft as petals
once sleek as leaves.

wow. this poem surfaces a lot of emotions. i love the chronological aspect as you read deeper into the poem. you get to see the little brown girl, one soft and innocent, grow into a tall brown girl who has age and gained experience.

{ They tread so gently
they leave no print.
They walk so carefully
the earth is kissed.

They step on thorns
on hard spiky rocks.
They fall in holes
and get stuck in logs.}

i absolutely love the contrast between these two stanzas. as the writer, you may have had a different interpretation, but this is mine...

it talks about how she walks so lightly the earth is kissed. next, it describes that she steps on thorns, rocks, sometimes get’s stuck.. it’s not that you’ve contradicted yourself with this, she never stopped walking lightly, the earth just isn’t as pure as her. i love that. beautifully executed. i am really glad i decided to read you poem. <#

wow. this poem surfaces a lot of emotions. i love the chronological aspect as you read deeper into the poem. you get to see the little brown girl, one soft and innocent, grow into a tall brown girl who has age and gained experience.

{ They tread so gently
they leave no print.
They walk so carefully
the earth is kissed.

They step on thorns
on hard spiky rocks.
They fall in holes
and get stuck in logs.}

i absolutely love the contrast between these two stanzas. as the writer, you may have had a different interpretation, but this is mine...

it talks about how she walks so lightly the earth is kissed. next, it describes that she steps on thorns, rocks, sometimes get’s stuck.. it’s not that you’ve contradicted yourself with this, she never stopped walking lightly, the earth just isn’t as pure as her. i love that. beautifully executed. i am really glad i decided to read you poem. <#

wow. this poem surfaces a lot of emotions. i love the chronological aspect as you read deeper into the poem. you get to see the little brown girl, one soft and innocent, grow into a tall brown girl who has age and gained experience.

{ They tread so gently
they leave no print.
They walk so carefully
the earth is kissed.

They step on thorns
on hard spiky rocks.
They fall in holes
and get stuck in logs.}

i absolutely love the contrast between these two stanzas. as the writer, you may have had a different interpretation, but this is mine...

it talks about how she walks so lightly the earth is kissed. next, it describes that she steps on thorns, rocks, sometimes get’s stuck.. it’s not that you’ve contradicted yourself with this, she never stopped walking lightly, the earth just isn’t as pure as her. i love that. beautifully executed. i am really glad i decided to read you poem. <#

Hello Rodionandaxe! Incoming review!

Your poem intrigued me so here I am with a review! I'll go stanza by stanza giving my thoughts and critique.

A little brown girl
with little brown feet
as soft as petals
as sleek as leaves.

They hop like sparrows
like joeys they leap.
They run like squirrels
and dance like the bees.

They tread so gently
they leave no print.
They walk so carefully
the earth is kissed.

They step on thorns
on hard spiky rocks.
They fall in holes
and get stuck in logs.

They bleed, they hurt
and are wetted with tears.
They are grown strong
and are seasoned by wear.

A tall brown girl
with little brown feet
once soft as petals
once sleek as leaves.

Hello! Wallflower here with a quick review

This poem is lovely! Its rhyme scheme and your word choices are wonderful; your writing style is very calming but upbeat.

"They hop like sparrows
like joeys they leap.
They run like squirrels
and dance like the bees."

I really loved this section; I felt it embodied the lifeblood of this poem, the wonder of adventure and everywhere feet can take you. The childlike wonder is so evident in this passage.

Your ending perfectly wraps up the poem; how the little girl grows up and leaves some of this behind.

Overall, this poem was absolutely lovely; you should definitely be proud!