Walking

Hello there! Glad to see more poetry to review!

positives

I haven't seen a poem about a pedestrian before; most poetry concentrating on bustling city living, or customary aspects of grown, overly populated areas, is always about the narrator and not from the viewpoints of someone else. Of course, there are poems about that, but it's more typical for them to be describing the stranger danger element.

I personally enjoy cities because of the atmosphere of encountering a new person and recognizing it is going to take a while to develop the relationship to a bond. There's also acknowledging that you'll never know most of the people wandering around and that they have their own fascinating experiences and tales to tell.

I think you capture that here with the woman. She is distinctly occupied with something significant, and that one moment the narrator shared with her details that. Though, our narrator isn't frustrated or irritated because they'd probably be in the same place if it were the other way around.

suggestions

I am a little disoriented about how your poem corresponds with the description presented. Like I've been saying all of above, there is a definite distinction between our narrator character and the random lady going about her day. There really isn't anything about what's occurring in her mind besides the predicament of being unavailable.

Expressions like "I wonder if" from the narrator are not enough to immediately equal what's happening in her thoughts and general life. Anyone can make an assumption, and most assumptions aren't accurate. That's presumably why people usually say "Never assume because it makes an a** out of u and me" in situations like this.

Showing what's developing in her mind would be addressing the poem from her point of view or related ideas, or just reworking everything to make her appear more human with imperfections and reflections on her profession, relationships, or just the climate that evening.

Overall, this is a nice poem, and I appreciate the idea you were trying to explain. There needs to be more poetry like this too because I can envision many ways to include all sorts of thoughts.

Good job! ~

chi

Hi! This is nightshadows bring a new comment live to a theater near you! Ok, so enough of my weirdness here are my thoughts:

Ok I love that I am scrolling through the all literally and I see your poem that was absolutely amazing with NO REVIEWS!! AND I FREAKED!!

5 minutes ago:
"WHY HAD NOBODY REVIEWED THIS!!! AHHHHHHHH"

Ok so I should probably get back on focus,
Ok so your poem is amazing, it illustrates perfectly that day that you were walking down the sidewalk, staring up at the sky when you bumped into a lady. Some may think that such a topic is decent but they are not looking close enough at the stunning situation.

This poem illustrates that many are too focused on their daily lives, the activities that makes one at ease. But many don't take a few minutes of the day to notice all of the small and amazing miracles that are happening around them. They are too caught up in the world of strict, hard business they don't dabble in the art of fantasy. This poem is stunning!! Great work <3