an energetic wisp
of a child,
floating through
disapproving crowds.
blind to the world,
she cannot see
the jeers, nor hear
their mockeries.
she sees only faeries,
and merely hears
the enchanting call
of dragons.
her mind rests
in idle fantasies,
dreamt up
on rolling hills.
but the worlds
in her sight
prevent her seeing
the world she must call
her own.
one day
she'll shatter,
but when
will she see
the cracks?
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140,714 Literary Works • 673,675 Reviews
Hey there, RippleGylf!
So, this poem was really easy to get into. And I especially connected with it, 'cause I feel like it was describing me when I was younger? Like, that preoccupation with a fantasy world, because imagination's too big to ignore, and maybe for other societal reasons as well. So then the ending of this poem gets to me, too, because yeah, spending all that time in imagination meant I missed learning how to get along in the real world, which I needed to get into to live anyway as I got older.
But I feel like that last stanza could be looked at again with a bit more care. Shattered and cracked are easy, obvious words. I think that you could find a better way to describe the disillusionment. Maybe something that keeps with the imagery in the rest of the poem -- something to do with crowds, rolling hills? Blindness??
Also -- why "merely hears"? I feel like she's hearing a lot if she's hearing the enchanting calls of dragons, so maybe a different word there, too!
I hope these thoughts are helpful to you. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful poem, and feel free to PM me if you have questions/comments about the review!
Good luck!
Hannah
Hey, Kazey here for a review!
So, I quite like this poem. i enjoy how the use of lowercase could represent the little-ness of the child, along with the short length of the lines. i thought that was a really nice touch. however, I do have some very small nitpicks. i'll be going through stanza by stanza, so here goes.
I enjoyed this as an opening stanza. it was intriguing and pulled my attention right away. However, I dilike the use of the word wisp. To me, that's a word that applies only to hair or smoke. i know what you mean by it, I just feel a different word (maybe waif) would work better.
This doesn't really work for me. I wouldn't class jeers as something you could see, so perhaps some other verb would work better.
I had no problem with these stanzas at all. They were beautifully written and I enjoyed reading them.
this is absolutely personal preference, but I dislike ending on a question. It's something I've been told all myu life not to do, and I just find it a very unsatisfying end to any piece of work. I think it ruins everything you've done so far, but then again, it really is a personal distaste.
All in all, a wonderful poem and i hope to read more of your work in the future.
~Kazey
Thank you so much for taking the time to review it!
I completely agree, I seem to have difficulty wrapping up poetry. Your review was super helpful. 
Fixed! Review away.
Once again, I'll fix the formatting in the morning. Wait until then to review it.