E - Everyone

Battles

The looking glass, my enemy

Used to say, sweet things to me

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It's so short, I'm slightly disappointed about how short it is and I can't really say much about it. Despite that it's a decent poem but not your best. I feel like it cuts off short for some reason? It's like:

The looking glass, my enemy

Used to say, sweet things to me-

Only two lines, it's probably the shortest poem I've ever read. I do suggest adding more.

Over all I give you a 4/10

You have better work than this and I hope you keep writing.

With love, Scarlet; Writer, Artist, Student and Reader

User avatar
Ardor
Review
Ardor wrote a review · Fri Jul 04, 2014 6:51 am

Yo! I am MasterGrieves, big ol' man in the middle, and I love to talk 'bout Doolittle. :)

So this is a contribution to the DD movement, and a mighty fine one at that. The title itself, Battles, evokes a sense of danger, passion, glory, and martyrdom.

This work is the antithesis of this. This work is modest and borderline self-deprecating.

The looking glass, my enemy

Used to say, sweet things to me


The "looking glass" is a reference to Lewis Carroll's Alice In Wonderland, and is used to describe a mirror. I assume that the fact your mirror is an enemy shows how little self-worth the narrator has. I can also assume the "sweet things" show how the character used to be confident but no feels betrayed, as "enemy" suggests.

Either that or I am totally wrong. XD

Oh well, it is probably very philosophical. After all, you are very good at providing insight into the human psyche. :)

-AJ

Spoiler
Love ya! ♥

Random avatar
Anabelle
Review

Hello, Renard!

For such a short poem, there isn't much to critique so well done on that. :)

Although short, this poem is very powerful. It can be looked at it many different ways which definitely widens that audience that is going to find this appealing. The usage of such a small piece of writing creates great impact and leaves one thinking of it long after they've read it. Poems like these leave a lasting impression on readers and it is a great gift to have. Keep doing what you're doing!

XOXO
Anabelle

Thanks, if you like this sort of poetry, you might be interested in joining this club: clubs/1957

to help us pioneer our cause. :)

Great! I'll check it out.



A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong.
— Orson Welles