Handles
Do not hold us
Glue
Is perishable in our hands
Knowledge
Alone will not save us
Worship of me
Will only make you worse
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Hello, love. Aurora here with a quick review for you
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Just a suggestion: your second and sixth lines end with 'us', and therefore rhyme. I think making maybe your fourth and eighth lines rhyme would be pretty cool
Also, I think you should have more of a 'natural progression of events'. You go from handles and glue to knowledge and worship. If you're going to use everyday object, stick with that.
Also, you have 1 word in your 1st, 3rd, and 5th lines. In your seventh line, you have three. You don't need the 'of me', so get rid of it!
Awesome poem that a lot of people can relate to. Very bitter. I like.
Keep writing, love.
Aurora
RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
So this was fabulous! If I had to change anything, I'd actually probably add another line or two. Overall, I'll give your poem a solid eight stars out of ten! Great job!
Alrighty, no grammar or spelling nitpicks! Good job already.
Every line feels like it was beautifully crafted, like good handmade Italian leather journals or something.
Alright, let's start the review for realsies.
Content
Spoiler
I don't get this line... Does it mean glue, being something normally so reliable, isn't as reliable as we think? Cause that's the vibe I got from that.
I 4000000000000000000% relate to the last two lines. Amazing. Fantastic.
Because this was so short, this review will be so short. Hopefully someone who knows more about poetry than I do will come along and actually help you.
Conclusion
Spoiler