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The Thief That Stole Excalibur (Part 9)

by RavenBlack


Warning: This work has been rated 18+ for language.

INT. CAVE - ONE WEEK LATER

LADY LUCK and LANCELOT exit the cave, equipped with their weapons, food and LADY LUCK with her potions and vielle.

LANCELOT

How are you feeling?

LADY LUCK stretches.

LADY LUCK

Better.

LANCELOT

Good, we've lost enough time as it is.

LANCELOT ventures forward, LADY LUCK cocking her head to the side before following after him.

LADY LUCK

Someone's eager to return home.

LANCELOT

Aren't you?

LADY LUCK

Nae, I'm quite liking getting preyed on by weird creatures.

A smile cracks onto LANCELOT's lips.

LANCELOT

Keeps you on your toes, doesn't it?

LADY LUCK

Aye. Though the possibility of us dying here has increased quite a bit since we arrived. We should tread carefully if we're to return home.

LANCELOT

You doubt your skills, Lady. You showed a lot of courage whilst we fought the Basilisk.



LADY LUCK is both amused and shocked by LANCELOT's kind words.



LADY LUCK

Was that a compliment, Lancelot?

LANCELOT

The first and the last, so don't get used to it.

LADY LUCK

The Lancelot complimenting a thief? Oh, the taverns will enjoy this story!

LANCELOT

They will, if you're alive to tell it.

LADY LUCK huffs.

LADY LUCK

And here I was thinking that we'd grown closer.

LANCELOT smirks as she storms off playfully ahead of him.

EXT. ARENA - MOMENTS LATER

They arrive on a path that leads to an ancient arena. Its grand structure beckoning them forward.

LANCELOT

What's an arena doing in a place like this?

LADY LUCK

(laughing)

Maybe the lost souls fight over who gets to go to heaven first.

LANCELOT looks at LADY LUCK disappointed.

LANCELOT

That's not funny.

LADY LUCK

I was just trying to brighten the mood-

LANCELOT

That wasn't funny.

LADY LUCK raises her hands in surrender.

LADY LUCK

Alright. I'll stop.

LANCELOT

Do that.

They both head towards the arena, it's amphitheatre architecture sparking curiosity within them. Arriving at the entrance, they realise that no one is there, but in the middle of the arena there are weapons stacked on racks.

LANCELOT picks a golden spear off the rack and examines it. It's decorated with engraved patterns and a name: 'Cenred' is carved on the pole. It shines under the sun's rays - not a scratch on its blade.

LADY LUCK

What's wrong?

LANCELOT

This weapon has been sharpened recently.

LADY LUCK becomes worried.

LADY LUCK

How recent?

LANCELOT eyes fill with caution.

LANCELOT

Maybe an hour ago.

Immediately, they survey their surroundings, looking for anything or anyone out of the ordinary.

LANCELOT

Something's not right about this place.

CENRED (O.S)

And you'd be right.

Hastily, LADY LUCK and LANCELOT spin on their heels to face the direction where the voice came from. Suddenly, they hear the sound of horse hooves. They grow louder as a figure approaches from the darkness of one of the entrances that led from a basement. LADY LUCK and LANCELOT put their hands on their weapons as he edges closer.

CENRED

It wouldn't be the Isle of the Lost Souls if it wasn't.

CENRED is part man, part horse. His body is tanned and his long, grey majestic hair is tied back. He walks head high and with a straight back, proud but humble. Despite being old, there's a youthfulness to his stride.

LADY LUCK

You're a centaur!

LANCELOT narrows his eyes in confusion.

LADY LUCK

(to LANCELOT)

Mythical creatures that are part man and part horse. I've read about them in my books at home.

(to CENRED)

Though I never thought that they were real.

CENRED

After all that you've seen, I would've thought that you'd make a better judgement of the world around you. But it seems I've held you to too high an expectation.

LADY LUCK becomes defensive.

LADY LUCK

What are ye talking about?

CENRED

I know who you are...

CENRED moves forward making LANCELOT and LADY LUCK back away, anxiously.

CENRED

I know who you both are.

Looking into CENRED's eyes, LANCELOT notices the huge scar that trailed from his eye to his waist. His hands were also bruised, his body covered with now healed wounds.

LANCELOT

I suppose, this belong to you...

(LANCELOT throws the spear before CENRED's hooves)

Cenred.

CENRED admires the spear, its beauty reminding him of his past victories in the arena.

CENRED

(closing his eyes)

Cenred...Cenred...That's what they would shout when I entered the arena - Cenred the Undefeated. The screams and the cheers like music to my ears.

(opens his eyes)

My people, we prided ourselves in our skills in combat. We were unmatched, unrivalled. But now, we're just a memory, this arena, a moment in time waiting to be forgotten.

CENRED kicks the spear into the air and catches it hastily.

CENRED

Will you give me the chance to relive my days of glory?

LADY LUCK and LANCELOT look at CENRED confused.



Twirling the spear in his hand, CENRED circles around them.



CENRED

I challenge you both to a fight to the death. You can use whatever weapons or potions in your possession.

LADY LUCK covers her bag of potions, cautiously.

CENRED

If you kill me you'll be able to pass through. But if I kill you both...then this is where your journey ends.

CENRED stops.

CENRED

So, what do you say?

LADY LUCK

(whispers to LANCELOT)

We can find another way around, Lancelot. We don't need to risk our lives playing his game.

LANCELOT's gaze remains on CENRED

LANCELOT

(whispers)

I don't think he's playing. This is something he's wanted for a long time.

LADY LUCK

Okay, that's his problem. But we should go.

LANCELOT

No, we stay and fight.

LADY LUCK

You can't be serious! Don't tell me you care more about your pride than your survival!

LANCELOT shifts his gaze to LADY LUCK.

LANCELOT

He's challenged us to a fight, Lady! I don't know what that means for you. But for a knight, if I refuse him, I'll be breaking the Knight's Code.

LADY LUCK

Ye think I give a shit about your Knight's Code? I give a shit about my life and I'm not in any hurry to die nor am I aiming to become a killer!

LANCELOT puts his hands on LADY LUCK's shoulders.

LANCELOT

I need you to be okay with this because I can't fight him without you. He's experienced and ruthless by the looks of it. If I take him on by myself I won't make it. But if we fight him together, we might have a chance at defeating him.

LADY LUCK becomes hesitant. She looks at CENRED, his tall stature intimidating her.

LANCELOT

Lady?

Hearing her name, LADY LUCK redirects her attention back to LANCELOT.

LANCELOT

I'm not asking you to be a killer, I'm asking you to fight alongside me. You protect me and I'll protect you.

LADY LUCK

I'm not a fighter, Lancelot. I only have these weapons to help me scale buildings. That and to intimidate any attackers.

LANCELOT

Are you not the thief who stole from Arthur's own GrandWitch?

LADY LUCK smirks.

LADY LUCK

I don't want to brag...but ye that was me.

LANCELOT

Did you not steal Merlin's Dragon's Egg?

LADY LUCK's cocky smile disappears. She nods in response.

LANCELOT

You didn't manage to accomplish those feats because of your skills as a fighter.

(LANCELOT put his finger on her temple)

It's because of this. Your wit has allowed you to survive this long and it's your wit that will allow you to survive this.

Beat.

LANCELOT

Last week I witnessed a thief exhibit more bravery than most of the knights in the King's Army. So there's no one else that I'd rather have watching my back.

=

A smile spreads on LADY LUCK's lips at LANCELOT's words. She nods in agreement.

LANCELOT turns to face CENRED.

LANCELOT

We accept your challenge.

CENRED

Do you speak for your friend as well?

LANCELOT looks at LADY LUCK, solace in his eyes.

LADY LUCK

He does.

CENRED smiles.

CENRED

Then tonight, we entertain the dead.


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286 Reviews


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Wed Jun 12, 2019 3:22 pm
Dreamy wrote a review...



Hello Raven!

I hope you don't mind me reviewing this part without reading the previous parts. Jster02 has already covered the technical parts, so I'll just write what I felt reading this part.

I actually enjoyed reading this because there aren't many script writers in this site, so I was really excited.

I got a general idea of the plot by reading this part. This was written in a very controlled fashion, in a way that the characters almost sounded robotic to me. And I sat here for a while trying to understand why I felt the way I did and I have come to few conclusions. And they are,

1. There is not much going on here. The two characters come out the cave, have a conversation that establishes a few new found respect and friendship.

2. They walk and come face to face with once celebrated centaur who challenges them for a duel, which they eventually agree to.

While I understand point number one, I don't see the point that number two makes. If it's some sort of lead to the next part, it' okay. And only that, a Okay.

You know, personally, I'm not a fan of a writing a part that would eventually lead to an eventful chapter in future. I am not a fan of Buffer chapters and unfortunately, that's what this part is.

I'm not asking you to give out the reasons then and there or to write exhaustive scripts, I know that's not how it works, I know we have, unlike some novel writers, a word/page limit. But because of the same reasons we need to make each page exciting. In novels, we have time to catch up but in scripts/movies, people fall asleep and never look back.

So instead of Cenred giving them a time, let them fight right there. See, logically, Cenred was once a celebrated fighter. He either has a philosophical conversation with them as all once upon a timers do or picks up a fight (to show that they're still who they are though the people have stopped talking about them) and have a conversation (while fighting of course).

I'm not trying to rewrite your story, please take my suggestions as a pinch of salt. If you need any clarifications, please PM me.

Keep writing!

A thief named Lady Luck, I like that. ;)

Cheers!




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Sun Apr 28, 2019 4:38 am
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jster02 wrote a review...



That was a fantastic ending to the chapter. The last line left me wanting more, so that's definitely a good sign. This whole chapter is really interesting because it tells us a bit more about the island. I like that we're starting to see more of it's history, even if that history isn't quite explained yet. I'm really interested to find out what this colosseum is, and the story behind why this island seems to have been abandoned. I also really liked the scene where Lancelot encouraged Lady Luck, (I'm a sucker for that sort of thing).

All that praise aside, I had a few, mostly minor, criticisms and a question, (Which you may or may not have already been planning to answer, so you can ignore it if you want). I'll start with the question, because it's fresh in my mind. It doesn't really make sense to me why CENRED wants to fight them to the death so he can relive his "Glory Days." It felt just a tad bit forced to me, (but I could just be imagining it). Why doesn't he just ask them to spar instead? Is he mentally unstable? Is this just a Centaur thing that I don't know about? Again, you might already be planning to explain this, (or you already have and I missed it), but I thought it was worth pointing out on the off chance you hadn't thought of it.

Other than that, I only noticed a few small things here and there, the first of which being:

A smile cracks onto LANCELOT's lips.


This sentence just felt a little awkward to me. I'm not quite sure "cracks," is the right word to use in this context. You might replace it with something like "spreads across," (Though that admittedly feels like a bit of a cliche example to use).

They grow louder as a figure approaches from the darkness of one of the entrances that led from a basement.


I stumbled a little over the last part of the sentence. I'm not quite sure you even need to say that there's a basement there, but if you really want to it might be smart to take a second look at the sentence and clean it up a little. (Maybe try rearranging the ideas? Split it into two sentences?)

LANCELOT notices the huge scar that trailed from his eye to his waist.


The tenses in this sentence conflict one another. "Notices" is present tense, and "that trailed" is past. You may want to change "that trailed" to "trailing."

That's about it from me today. You posted this at a really good time, because it gave me an easy review for review day. (Or, at least, I noticed it at a really good time. Funny, I looked for it a couple hours before review day started and I couldn't find it. Must have been a glitch or something). Anyways, I hope you have a good review day! Can't wait to see what comes next!




RavenBlack says...


Thank you so much for the review! That's weird that it didn't show up until review day. Could have been something wrong with the site or something xD

With regards to your questions, I'd like to say they'd be answered in the next chapter but if you're still confused after that then I'll explain the answer for you.

I keep mixing up the tenses while writing this, I'm hoping I'll get it right eventually xD But thank you for pointing out the grammar mistakes and letting me know what you think about the chapter. I always look forward to your review!




In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.
— Robert Frost