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The Thief That Stole Excalibur (Part 3)

by RavenBlack


INT. DUNGEONS - NIGHT

The guards throw LADY LUCK into a cell.

SOLDIER#1

Enjoy your chambers, m'lady.

The soldiers laugh as they walk away.

LADY LUCK

Hey, come back! Don't ye know who I am?

KLIH (O.S)

Everyone knows who you are darling, no need to keep reminding them.

LADY LUCK turns around to see KLIH, the size of a pixie, climbing through the small barred window in her cell.

LADY LUCK

What are ye doing here?

KLIH

We're breaking you out.

LADY LUCK

We?

Four more goblins appear next to KLIH. VESQ was large and on the wild side of life. ARD and ARQ were twins, a boy and a girl and had identical gold markings on their body. FROL, who wasn't with them earlier, was the more serious one of the bunch despite his love to be creative.

VESQ

What did I tell ye about getting caught, lassie?

LADY LUCK scowls.

LADY LUCK

It kills a thief's reputation.

VESQ

But?

A wide grin curls onto LADY LUCK's lips.

LADY LUCK

A successful escape can make even the lowliest of thieves a popular topic amongst rich folk.

VESQ

That's my girl! Now come, we need to break ye out before the guards come back.

LADY LUCK is hesitant.

LADY LUCK

I'm not coming with ye.

KLIH is the most horrified by her response.

KLIH

What are you saying, love?

LADY LUCK

The King has given me an offer. He wants me to steal Excalibur! I can't pass that up! Do ye know how famous I'd be if I succeeded?

FROL

If you succeeded.

LADY LUCK

Must you always be so solemn, Frol.

FROL

I have to be. All of you besides, Mother and I always think with your asses than you do with your brains. It's pretty tiring to be the only smart one in the family. I taught you better, Lady Luck.

ARQ

Bugger off, Frol!

ARD

Lady Luck's always been the smartest!

FROL

I'm not even going to quarrel with you two delinquents.

KLIH

Stop it, all of you!

KLIH jumps down from the window and sprinkles gold dust over her head. Immediately she grows to her normal size, around the height of LADY LUCK's waist.

LADY LUCK crouches to her height and KLIH puts a hand on her cheek.

KLIH

Why are you doing this? I know there's more to this than fame.

Beat.

LADY LUCK

Every night, I think about them - my parents. What they're doing? What they look like? What they're eating? If they've heard of me?

(laughs)

I doubt I've made them proud.

The goblins exchange worried looks as LADY LUCK talks.

KLIH cups LADY LUCK's face in her hands.

KLIH

I've never been able to bear children. It was a gift and a curse. But I've always wanted a child of my own, someone to love and to care for.

Beat.

KLIH

So when I found you in an abandoned house in the woods, I knew that fate had brought us together. They let me find you, so that I could love you.

KLIH looks at the necklace around LADY LUCK's neck, hidden beneath her waistcoat. It's made of a gold chain and red crystal attached in the centre.

KLIH

That necklace was around your neck when I found you. Maybe you're parents gave it to you as a parting gift.

LADY LUCK clasps her hand around the crystal

.

LADY LUCK

Maybe they did.

LADY LUCK tucks the necklace back under her waistcoat.

LADY LUCK

It doesn't matter now. What does matter is what ye all know about The Isle of Lost Souls, I remember reading about it but I thought it was a myth.

ARQ

I hear it's where those who die and can't find peace end up.

ARD

To wander, lost for eternity.

LADY LUCK

Could the living go there?

VESQ

Why do ye ask, lassie?

Beat.

LADY LUCK

Because that's where Excalibur is.

KLIH

What!

VESQ

(laughs)

I know I've always said live your life on the edge but I didn't mean kill yourself in the process.

LADY LUCK

What are ye talking about?

FROL

Any mortal who's gone to the Isle...has never come back.

LADY LUCK

But that's just a myth...right?

FROL

You've stolen many things that have been consider a myth, Lady Luck. So what do you think?

LADY LUCK paces around her cell.

KLIH

You're still not thinking of going, are you?

LADY LUCK

...Yeah, I am.

FROL

Then I'll prepare your grave for when your corpse comes back.

KLIH

Frol!

LADY LUCK

Nice to know ye don't believe in me. Even after all I've done-

FROL

After all you've done, you still have forget what I taught you.

(he points to his head)

This means nothing, if your going to use it to get you killed.

FROL jumps from the window and lands onto the castle grounds below.

VESQ

Don't let his words bother ye, lassie. I say go, go get this sword and bring it home. Maybe this time ye can brag that ye stole from King Arthur himself.

LADY LUCK and VESQ exchange smiles.

KLIH

Don't encourage her, Vesq.

ARQ

(whispers)

We've got your back, Lady Luck.

KLIH

You two neither, Ard and Arq.

KLIH looks at LADY LUCK, her eyes full of concern.

KLIH

I can't persuade you to change your mind can I?

LADY LUCK shakes her head.

LADY LUCK

Sorry, mother.

KLIH

Then I guess, I should give you these.

KLIH takes off the bag of potions around her shoulder and gives it to LADY LUCK.

KLIH

We were going to use these to break you out but I think they'll be more useful on your journey. Keep them safe.

LADY LUCK

Thank you.

KLIH surveys LADY LUCK.

KLIH

I remember when you were little, you used to beg me to teach you how to concoct all these potions. You were always so eager to learn.

LADY LUCK

Still am.

Tear flow down KLIH's cheek.

KLIH

You take care of yourself, okay. Promise me.

LADY LUCK embraces KLIH tightly.

LADY LUCK

I will, mom.

ARQ, ARD and VESQ jump from the window and sprinkle gold dust over themselves, turning them into their normal height before embracing LADY LUCK.

LADY LUCK

I love you all. Even Frol - you'll tell him that, won't you?

VESQ

Don't worry, I will.

They all let go and sprinkle gold dust over themselves once over, shrinking them to size of pixie dust. They jump onto the window, wave goodbye to LADY LUCK before jumping to the castle grounds.

INT. KING ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS - DUSK

ARTHUR is dressed in his bed robes made of black silk. He stands by the window, looking out at the fog in the distance. He can slightly make out the silhouette of a mountain.

Suddenly, he turns his head slightly at the sound of footsteps entering his room.

ARTHUR

Is it time?

LANCELOT

Yes. We leave soon and hope to arrive at the Isle tomorrow morning, if we don't run into any trouble.

ARTHUR

(turning to face him)

See to it that you don't.

ARTHUR is visibly surprised when he looks at LANCELOT. He is no longer wearing his armour but a brown leather jacket and pants with a silver gorget covering his neck and chest. Two pauldrons are attached to his shoulders and a knightly sword with a black hilt strapped to his belt. Black leather gloves cover his hands.

ARTHUR

You were always much more comfortable wearing that then a knight's armour.

LANCELOT

I guess it just suited me better.

An awkward silence ensues.

LANCELOT

Arthur if...if I don't come back...I just wanted to tell you-

ARTHUR

If you don't come back with Excalibur, Lancelot. Don't come back at all.

LANCELOT is disheartened by ARTHUR's comment.

LANCELOT

(bowing)

Of course, Your Majesty.

LANCELOT leaves ARTHUR's chambers in a hurry. ARTHUR is distressed by his leave.

INT. KING ARTHUR'S PALACE COURTYARD - DUSK

LADY LUCK is being reluctantly equipped with a crossbow, arrows and a belt of throwing knives by guards who's eyes hold detest. She wears the bag of potions around her shoulder.

LANCELOT comes out into the courtyard and the guards salute him in respect.

LADY LUCK

When they told me you'd be coming along, I couldn't believe my ears. The King has sent his own knight to the grave.

LANCELOT

I have no desire to die.

LADY LUCK

Good, neither do I.

Two stable boys escort two horses to LADY LUCK and LANCELOT.

LANCELOT

(climbing onto his horse)

I don't want to hear a word out of you on this journey. The quieter you are, the quicker we'll get this done.

LADY LUCK climbis onto her horse.

LADY LUCK

Someone's eager to return home. Do ye have a loved one waiting for ye?

LANCELOT stays silent and cues horse to ride forward.

LADY LUCK

Hey! I asked ye a question.

As LANCELOT and LADY LUCK ride out of the castle grounds, unbeknown to them, ARTHUR is watching from his window, a look of distraught in his icy, blue eyes.

NIMUEH appears next to him. She puts a comforting hand on his shoulder but he shrugs it off and walks away.


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26 Reviews


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Fri Jan 25, 2019 3:14 am
jster02 wrote a review...



The plot just keeps getting deeper. I love the complexity of your characters; they seem so real! You have certainly proven yourself as a storyteller.

A few nitpicks, (because once again, that's all I could find).

The soldiers laugh as they walk away.


This might just be me, but I'm a little confused as to why they were laughing. There was nothing particularly funny about the situation that I could see. (Although I have been known to have jokes fly over my head in the past, so it might just be me). You might want to add an extra line of dialogue to help clarify what's going on.

VESQ was large and on the wild side of life


This statement seems a little vague for a description. Did you mean VESQ looked wild or was it a description of their character? If it's the former, you may want to edit the sentence for clarity. If it's the latter, it might be smart to remove his size form the equation entirely so that it's clear you are talking about personality. Better yet, show us their personality instead of simply telling us.

Mother and I always think with your asses than you do with your brains.


I can't quite tell what you're trying to say here. You may have been trying to say "our" instead of "your," but I'm not quite sure. (Maybe it was a typo)?

As LANCELOT and LADY LUCK ride out of the castle grounds, unbeknown to them, ARTHUR is watching from his window, a look of distraught in his icy, blue eyes.


This feels like a bit of a run on sentence. It might be wise to change it to something along the lines of: "LANCELOT and LADY LUCK ride out of the castle grounds. Unbeknownst to them, ARTHUR is watching from his window, a look of distraught in his icy, blue eyes."
That simple change breaks up the sentence and helps it flow a bit slower instead of letting it all run together.


Anyways, can't wait to read more of this! I've enjoyed every minute of it up to this point, which is really something. See you later!
-Jster




RavenBlack says...


Thanks again for the review, I'm really happy that you made it this far!

Just to clear up a question you had. The soldiers laugh because they call her "m'lady" because her name is Lady Luck, so they're making fun of her name.

Thanks for pointing out the mistakes again, I never spotted those when I read through it, so thank you!



jster02 says...


Ah, that makes a lot more sense now. Sorry I didn%u2019t pick up on that.



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Fri Jan 18, 2019 4:47 am
FlamingPhoenix wrote a review...



Hello, Shikora here with another review for your story.

I've been waiting a wile so I'm really excited to review this for you.

Now everything in this chapter was really fun and interesting to read. But there was one part I did have a small issue with.

KLIH (O.S)

Everyone knows who you are darling, no need to keep reminding them.

LADY LUCK turns around to see KLIH, the size of a pixie, climbing through the small barred window in her cell.

The thing is that Lady Luck had only been in that sell for really only a few seconds, and someone already has come to save here. What I'm trying to say is that it would be nice if she could be in there alone for a little wile thinking over what just happened and then she get saved. It will give you room to develop her character, and us as the reader it will allow us to connect with her sooner. I hope I explained that right.

But other then that, I really enjoyed reading your chapter, I can see the plot moving along really nicely. And I look forward to the next chapter. I do think you are letting us know a bit more about the characters little by little with every chapter. And I can't wait to see what to see what the characters will do in the next chapter.
I also really want to now how the relationship between NIMUEN and ARTHUR works.

Well that's all from me for now, I really liked reading and reviewing this chapter, and I wish you luck with the next one. I look forward to seeing another chapter on YWS soon. Never stop writing and have a great day/night.

Your friend
Shikora.




RavenBlack says...


Sorry for the late reply I've been so busy. Thank you again for reviewing my work, it means a lot! And I definitely agree with what you've said, I think I've gotten a little carried away with moving the plot forward xD





I'm glad I could help. I can see why your getting carried away. It's happens to me a lot some times. XD



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Thu Jan 17, 2019 4:21 pm
FireSpyGirl says...



Another great installment! Your Arthur character is interesting, even if he is cold. So far, that's just my thoughts though. I can't wait to see how this all of this turns out!




RavenBlack says...


Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!




Nobody wants to see the village of the happy people.
— Lew Hunter