Young Writers Society

"This poem portrays the emotional pain and betrayal caused by lies and deception. The speaker expresses their frustration and hurt at being denied the truth and the right to know. The repetition of the phrase "pain doesn't come with age" emphasizes the universality of emotional pain and the invalidity of excuses based on age or perceived maturity.

What I like most about the poem is the raw emotion and honesty conveyed by the speaker. The poem effectively conveys the hurt and betrayal caused by lies, and the speaker's desire for truth and freedom. The use of repetition and imagery effectively reinforces the poem's themes.

To enhance the poem, the author could consider expanding on the consequences of the lies and the impact they have had on the speaker's life. Additionally, the author could experiment with different poetic devices, such as rhyme or meter, to add depth and variation to the poem's structure. Finally, the author could consider exploring the speaker's relationship with the person who lied and how that relationship has been affected by the lies."

Just a short review here because I had the privilege of hearing this one in the spoken word poetry jam!

This poem comes across very sincere and heartfelt - and the final lines are just the perfect conclusion too. I like the directness of the poem, that it doesn't dance around the weight of emotions like "pretend the hurt isn't there / just as your pretend to care". </3 The whole thing carries an honesty that makes me feel like it definitely emotionally hits.

I also think the way you broke up the poem was very thoughtful, and I didn't mind the un-even lines it sort of made the poem feel even more organic to me, and let some of those really short lines really punch like "you hide it" and "it was you.

I think the only feedback I would offer is a second look at capitalization / punctuation(I noticed you used a period in the second stanza and I'd just take it out to keep things consistent) and then either do away with capital letters or keep it consistent from stanza to stanza. But other than that I don't think I'd change a thing.

Keep on writing quill! <3 I love reading your work. <3

alliyah

Hi, Ally here for a review!
I love this poem! I can really feel the emotion pouring off the page. I agree that this poem captures anger well. I also like that you keep bringing up an age factor into this poem. As someone who was often told that I was too young to understand, I relate to the line "Pain doesn't come with age." This poem reminds me of someone who was lied to for most of their life by people close to them (a relationship, parents, grandparents, close friends, etc.). While the person lying may have just been trying to protect their friend or their child, lying caused them more hurt. They just want to be told the truth. I think this is evident in the last stanza, saying "It was never the truth that hurt, it was you."
Overall, I think that your poem can be easily relatable and is well-written. Great job and keep on writing!

Hey! I have a quick review for you!

I really liked and related to your poem. You painted a vivid picture of what was going on and how it made you feel, but I would suggest using more imagery to further drive the point home. I think you did this especially well when you wrote, "lock it away, and say the key is kept with secret codes I can't unlock," and I would try to emulate that even more. Additionally, your ending, "it was never the truth that hurt, it was you," was extremely powerful. The kicker truly left me, and I assume other readers, with something to contemplate.

Overall, this poem was beautiful and tremendously powerful. Have a nice day and keep writing!

Hi, Sunflower here for a quick review!

So I really REALLY liked this poem, mainly because it spoke to me a lot. I love how well this poem captured the feeling of anger and sadness that come with the phrase 'well we didn't want you to feel bad' after telling you something they said you were "to young to understand at the time" as if knowing it now will make things any better. I liked that a lot. It reminds me of family keeping secrets for ages only for you to learn and be absolutely shattered by them. I love the way the poem flowed and over all I think this was a really lovely piece that just felt so deeply ingrained in families. So yeah I really liked this piece (it helped that I was listening to the Crane Wives) and I hope you do more stuff like it. Thank you for reading my review and have a great day/night, bye!