Young Writers Society

Hi, hello there! This is Ina speaking. I am here to tell you a little comment/review for your poem. Anyways, let's get into it.

I love your poems soooo much. They are very descriptive and creative, man, I'm McDonald's now. I'm lovin' it. I also feel bad for those animals who hide from those bad people who kill them, I mean unless they hunt for food. Because animals are made for food and vitamins for people. You can't eat veggies all day long, sweetie, plus, you're taking their food. Although, you didn't write a pov for those who get taken care of like a pet or something. How about the ones in the zoos?

I hope you like my suggestions. Thank you for sharing a really good poem. I enjoyed it very much. Have a good morning, day, afternoon or night.

Good morning, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever applies to you in your respective time zone. Anyway, onto the review. I really did enjoy this poem! It had a good message, paired with a good structure! I particularly enjoyed how you made it in the animal’s perspective.

hoping they wil realize what they have done.
And maybe someday,
This wrong will be righted.

Hey there, I would love to leave a short review for you! <3 I'll try not to be repetitive with what other reviewers say, but if I do repeat something, then I apologize in advance! ^_^

I love the idea behind this poem. It's always interesting when a poem is in the point of view of something other than a person, and I really like how you made this specific to animals who have been hurt from human actions. I love the use of specific ways animals have suffered by the hands of humans - pollution, machines, houses, roads, and guns. A lot of these thing you mentioned are things that are beneficial to humans (except for pollution cx) so it's interesting to see how the things we treasure lead to the destruction of something else. I think one of my favourite lines is this one

Even predators are now prey.

The world used to be vibrant.

And full of wonder.

Pollution and machines

Heya, Ilium here for a review!
OMGOSH THIS WAS A GREAT POEM.
Bro, I love this so much, great job! What you wrote about it was soo true- we continually screw up and expect future generations to take action against it. The topic was really good and really true so that automatically helped your poem. You could definitely expand this into
I agree with stygianmoon17's review with the grammar and the punctuation, the multiple "there"s that that were misspelled threw me off a little bit, and the punctuation could be fixed too. I don't look at punctuation as much, I just read with my own internal emphasis, but punctuation is very important, because it shows the breaks and breaths that a reader is supposed to take (I guess I'm just a wild one XDD)
I love how you put yourself in the perspective of the animals. Writing from a new and different perspective really intrigues people and makes them think in new ways. You did a good job on doing that yourself and being in this perspective which worked well. It's awesome to see how you are from the perspective of the animals and place, not intense anger and hatred, but fear and hope that they will realize soon, placing all the action on the men themselves. It's awesome!
Also, your staccato-like lines did well too. They worked better than punctuation because the reader can read them however they want- either quick and rushed, or slow and emotional.
In the end, this poem had an awesome idea and a great delivery. Please keep writing stuff like this!
Peace and Tacos be with you!

Hi there

Quick typo or/and grammar mistakes list:

They have come with there

Pollution and machines

There houses and roads

But now were are pet's for there enjoyment

And we are forced do do there work.

hoping they wil realize what they have done.

This wrong will be righted.

Hello! You two did a great job collabing! Here for a review!!
This caught my attention as I have always wondered about the POV of each and every creatures and organism and even of what we call ‘non-living things’.

I liked it cuz it tells about how humans have hurt them and literally tortured them. Could you be specific in the poem and make your readers wonder? Except the last four lines, the poems seems to be a generalisation. Maybe you could just greatly insult the humans as they do to the animals. You could tell that humans have forgotten that they are just the evolution of us and one day we will also evolve and might be more superior to them. Or you can add something more specific.

The next thing I noticed is the structure of the poem. I will suggest a few changes. However, it's completely upto you whether you will take my advice or not.
First of all, divide it into stanzas. That will just be visually good and also be organized.

what animals see

And full of wonder

They have come with there

And we are forced do do there work.