He was the rumble of a bus,
the way our bodies always shared
the same seat;
the 110-messages-long email chain,
his typos riddled with love,
with connections between us everywhere
and hidden complaining, nefarious plotting
as our legs stuck to the vinyl seats,
he was the “I hate life”
and I the “I hate it too.”
He was the tautness of a string,
the way our eyes always read
the same music;
the wail of violins,
his sculpted hand vibrato elegant,
with awkwardly muttered comments
and bows tightened, rosin scratching
as the dregs of the concert died down,
he was the “You did good.”
and I the “You did good too.”
He was the laughter of my life,
the way our jokes always had
the same punchline;
the waves in the hallway,
his eyes filled with joy,
with ignorant stares
and poor decisions, phones ringing
as we talked about all that had happened,
he was the “I’m sorry.”
and I the “I’m sorry too.”
He was the knob on the classroom door,
the way our schedules always showed
the same classes;
the trees in the park,
his head close to mine,
with picnic tables
and grass blades poking, bugs crawling
as we laid six feet apart
he was the “You’re weird."
and I the “You’re weird too.”
She was the crackle of a firepit,
the way our interests always fell in
the same place;
the silhouette of flowers,
her hands that fit perfectly in mine,
with texted confessions
and poems read, walking together
as we let each other go
she was the “I’m confused.”
and I the “I’m confused too.”
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Hey, Plume! Just wanted to drop by and give a review, because I think this deserves it. This sort of gives me the vibes of your “letters I will never send” piece on here (it had a title similar, I think). Each stanza tells a story; I’m not sure if all of these people were romantic connections, but I see the connections you gave to each. I can picture the environment, and how each person fits right in. I can feel the sticky seat of a school bus under my thighs as you describe it, I hear a concert and the tension in fingers as you talk about it. Though perhaps talk isn’t the right word; this is less of talking and more flowing, I guess. As (I personally believe) poetry should be.
A big feeling I get from this poem as a whole is nostalgia. All of these people seem to be memories as you describe them, in some way. Or maybe these are just feelings I’m getting from the memories you portray of these people, not that the people are memories themselves. (Does any of that make sense?) Each stanza has the distinct taste of days gone by, memories kept like photographs, stamped into words showing confusion, tension, happiness, regret. I think you captured such moments, such images, really well.
I don’t know if I have a favorite stanza; each one brings something new to the table. The third stanza makes me want to know more about the mistakes made, and how life is now. The fifth stanza seems peaceful, with an environment safe and secure... or at least that’s how I interpreted it. The last stanza, I noticed, is the only one who mentions a “she.” It’s less of distinct settings as it is feelings, but I think that sort of adds to the “confusion” aspect at the end.
Overall: I really, really liked this poem. Your poems are great, and this is just another great one in your arsenal. *thumbs up*
eeee thank you Joy!! Your review is so sweet. I really loved hearing your thoughts!
I always had such fun reading your poems during NaPo, so I'm glad I could return the favor ^_^
Hey Plume!
If this isn't in the literary spotlight already, it totally should be! This is an amazing poem!
I like the format of the poem, how you end each verse saying that you both have a sort of telepathic connection and share the same thoughts. <33
I think the last one was probably my favorite verse:
On the whole, it was a wonderful, flawless gem of a poem. I really want to write more about how awesome this poem is, but I have this project so yeah.
Can't wait to read more of your work.
Keep writing.
Thank you so much for your review!!
i usually become somewhat physically ill with romantic stuff (it's complicated) but this was honestly so lovely, glad i braved it out lol
leave it to me to find a platonic reading in everything! good poem.
ah!! as an aroace I relate
this is big mood
^-^ it makes me so happy to hear you say that! I'm glad you enjoyed!